I wanna find trust

I remember when I was a little boy I liked a girl and I decided to tell her how I felt… I was pretty sure she was gonna say yes for some reason but then she rejected me and I cried… I didn’t cry because she rejected me but how she did it… When I asked her she was first silent for a long period and she broke the silence with her laughter… She legit laughed, and I could feel tears accumulating in my eyes. Fortunately it was the last period and the teacher wasn’t there so I went home and cried… I cried so hard that my head started hurting, but assumed having these emotions bottled up wasn’t good/healthy so I decided to tell my best friend who I “knew” for about 8 years… He laughed and he said “That’s why your cryin really?”, he then called his friends and told them why I was crying… Since then I’ve been always been… I’ve just always avoided people, like I’m not open with anyone anymore and I’ve always said to myself “If you don’t wanna be hurt by anyone always expect the worst from them”. But I miss that feeling of trust, knowing or at least thinking someone has your back. Hack you’re the only ones who know I’ve been rejected by 12 girls… and my sister but frankly that’s because non of you know my full name and my sister can’t do anything with that information


Oh my gosh @Hoffman, I’m so sorry. It totally makes sense that your trust in others has been shaken after such awful experience! Not only the reaction of this girl was humiliating, but also how your friend responded to your own reaction was not supportive. I can only imagine how stressful it was already for you to put yourself out there and tell the girl your feelings, then having to deal with others reaction that basically reflected the idea that you’d be wrong for having normal, human emotions!

You know, trust has ben a huge struggle to me as well. And I think that, in general, it’s something difficult to approach for all the people who were hurt by others at some point. My own traumas are rooted in feelings of humiliation, shame, worthlessness, which makes it hard to trust people now. As you said, it’s a way to protect ourselves. It’s a logical reaction - we don’t want to be hurt.

There’s really a part of risk in learning to trust someone. But the good thing is that it is still possible to find the people who will respect you and honor your trust. Who will honor you. Your past experiences can be turned into lessons, things that would make you grow personally. For example, to clearly distinguich what is fair or not, what is your responsibility or not. In the event you describe, you clearly haven’t done anything wrong! And you know that. Others reactions were not fair. Though knowing that you, on your end, were just being human, can help you learn to assert your own position and just your own right to exist!

It is awful to be mocked and humiliated. But the most unfair consequence of it would be to condemn yourself to not give your trust anymore, for the rest of your life. Thankfully, trusting someone is a process. And it can be as slow as we need. If someone respects you, they’d be patient with you. If they don’t… then that wouldn’t be a loss for you, because that would show they were just not meant to share life with you in a solid way. You being you is a gift. Some people will honor that, and others won’t. Though it would be a pure injustice to let those who don’t have the last word. Because you deserve to embrace your own life, to step out of your comfort zone safely, and embrace again the joy of having people who have your back. :hrtlegolove:

And of course, you have an online fam’ right here who loves you unconditionally. None of what happened to you defines you. Your trust right here is SO appreciated and respected, friend. Really. I know how fast it can be to just retreat and isolate for a matter of safety, and how draining it is to get out of our own shell. THANK YOU for daring to be here, and even more for sharing those vulnerable parts of your heart. You are loved as you are. :hrtlegolove:


Hi Hoffman
I am sorry this happened to you. It is always bad when people betray our trust. I was made fun off and I also made fun off people i am guilty of that too but when i did that i did that in good fun and among friends. I would never make fun of crying friend who is said because he go rejected by a girl. That is just mean.

I want to tell you one thing Hoffman. Sometimes you will get hurt by people who dont want to hurt you and they dont realise that they are hurting you. When something like that happends try telling them that you want them to stop because it makes you sad or hurt. If they stop you know they didnt want to hurt you and that they care about you. Voicing your feelings makes you easier to understand and you will not get hurt as often.

That does not mean that some people dont want to hurt you. You should still be careful who you trust. Trust has to be earned but sometimes we must make a leap of fate and have hope.

Take care now

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