I been feeling really bad lately not like depressed or suicidal I just been melancholy like I think I been age regressing but because my childhood was really kinda shitty and full of fighting I just get sad like nostalgia for me is a feeling of sadness cuz my sense of wonder I wasn’t so scared all the time I wasn’t worried about things ending I wasn’t aware of my own mortality or my dad’s or my mom’s or my brothers I didn’t live in a constant fear of being alone of being stuck in a special needs home…I’m so fucking scared like when ur lost in a store as a kid and ur just wanting ur dad back that’s how I feel everyday this isn’t normal
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Hi Derpplup.
I am sorry you are feeling like this. I believe its the feeling we have when we are lost and dont know where we are going and we just want some comfort. Let me give you a big hug 
. You deserve it. We are here for you whenever something happends or whenever you feel down. What things do usually lift up your mood? It might be a good thing to seek them out more. For me its this: Finnegan fox the glove thief! - YouTube. Sometimes we need to make ourselves feel better first and then try to solve the big problems we face because we need energy and will to do so. I hope it can lift your mood at least a bit 
Hi Derpplup 
How have you been holding up? I hope you are doing better at least a bit but if not we are here to listen ok. This is a safe space and you can share anything you are comfortable with. I think yours fears are valid but they might put you down too much. Sometimes our fears can almost paralyze us. Do you have something that can lift those fears a put a smile on your face? It can be a little thing, nothing big?
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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ
Hi Derpplup, As we get older it’s perfectly normal to start thinking about your mortality and your future. It’s just something that most people think about at some point, but instead of getting scared, be excited at what the future could hold for you. What’s next in your life? What do you want to do within your means? There are so many choices even being special needs. I hope you fund peace ~Mystrose
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From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hey Friend, its good to see you again, I understand where you are coming from with the concerns you are having but I would like to say that actually I think the thoughts you are having are normal, I think its very normal to think about what the future holds, what happens if? when? etc etc we have these brains that allow us to over think like crazy and they work in a way that allow us to think forward and also back to a time when we felt secure and safe and the strangest thing of all is that those memories can sometimes be embelished so they might be remembered as a lot more fabulous than they actually were or I suppose in some cases a lot worse, the brain can play some strange tricks on us but that does not make your thoughts abnormal. quite the opposite so maybe you can focus on today and enjoy the moment you are in if you can and let see what happens tomorrow. If you need us tomorrow, we are here for you. Much Love Lisa x
From: eloquentpetrichor
Hey again, Derpplup! I feel like the desire to be a kid again hits everyone sometimes. Like you said even if it wasn’t the best childhood it was before a lot of terrible things happened so it feels like a better time. I like to focus on some of my favourite things from childhood when I’m feeling like adult life is just unbearable. Embrace my childhood for a bit in a temporary way. And with the internet it is so easy to find some piece of our childhood to embrace. Like Disney+ and all the old shows being on there. And so many other old shows are on other streaming services as well.
I hope you find something to help you feel a little less like adulting for a while. I hope you feel better 
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Yeah I know it’s normal it’s just I was aware of my own mortality since I was 5 i grew up going to funerals and knowing my parents would die and like I just I don’t know like my brain exists in two different states there’s the part of me that’s aware of how old I am and what’s going on and how I’m able to be a adult on the surface level but everything else is really hard for my brain to really get. I wanna get diagnosed for autism but I don’t have the money or insurance and I just I don’t know why I’m telling you all this crap it’s not like it matters
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