I want someone to care about me

From randomperson0107:
I want someone to care about me
To worry for me
Man I just want someone to pull me aside and ask me of I’m all right
I want someone to text me in Private and ask me if I’m okay
I feel like shit
And I can’t manage to care for others as much as I used to
Maybe that sounds a bit weird and ridiculous
I want people to think of me as the caring person
But I can’t bring myself to care
I think to myself that must suck
But what about me
What about how I’m feeling
What about how shit I’ve been
What about the fact that I think to myself every night if I should cut myself again
It’s hard for me to really care for other people’s situation
This isn’t saying that they don’t care for me
My friends do care
But I just try to hide a lot of it
I just want
Idk what I want
I want to get worse
I want people to see I’m getting worse I want them to see
I want them to feel bad
I want them to reach out and ask me if I’m okay
But then again
Being fine
Being good
Being okay
Not feeling shit ,not having anything wrong is just
Nice
Content
But I just
It’s a comfort.
Feeling like shit is it’s own comfort,
Trash comfort but still
I want to talk to someone about it
Bur how do you even bring it up
And to who?
Its a hard thing to bring up
Like hey guys whats up I want to cut myself
Like
What
I guess I could talk to it about it to one person
Idk
I know that he care
But I just I know that he is kinda going through some stuff so idk
I guess I kinda positioned so that he would see
But like
Not anybody else.
That’s such a dickhead move
Since he’s also dealing with a lot of shi.
I want to talk about it with someone and im sure my friends would be okay with it
Atleast a few of them
But its so hard to bring up
How do you bring it up
How do I talk about it
If someone asked me about I wouldn’t lie
I just want somebody to ask
I cant blame others for not bringing it up
Because if I was them I wouldn’t even notice something is wrong
I try to keep as discreet as possible

2 Likes

If you hide everything, and everyone thinks you are strong, and okay all the time. Then why would someone ask someone if something is wrong, if they have absolutely no hints to lead them towards that conclusion. People’s intuition is on varying levels from very high, to very low. Some people have to be told something is wrong, to understand that something is wrong. You get to the point where you say “I want to talk to someone about it”, “But how do you even bring it up”. So you have some indication yourself that this is true. That you need to talk about it, if you expect someone to be able to see/care about it. As to who, where, when, how, and why. That is all up to you. I do however think that you are right in thinking that you need to have a discussion about it. With someone who cares, and if that is too uncomfortable, then maybe a mental health professional is the answer. Maybe a stranger is the person to open up to. Regardless, letting no one know and being discreet is not going to lead many people to think that there is something wrong with you. Everyone at HeartSupport wants to know if you are okay. Are you?

Hey friend. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and emotions here. It’s so important to share these vulnerable parts of ourselves, even if it feels very conflicting inside. Know that this place right here will always be safe to open up and just talk about the things that are difficult to express.

I hear you on this constant inner conflict between what you want - being heard, feeling cared for -, yet also facing the fear that go with actually being heard. It’s about wanting to be seen, but also not, because ultimately it feels unsafe. When you open up to someone, you show them a wounded part of your heart, one that is already highly vulnerable. It’s understandable to fear this situation, to fear bbeing vulnerable, to fear being seen as you really are. It raises so many questions: am I going to be judged or criticized? Am I going to be seen differently? Am I going to be misunderstood, or even dismissed? The stakes are high, and your needs matter. So navigating these questions and fears is completely understandable.

Personally, I’ve lived for most of my life in this dichotomy of “I want to be seen, but also not”. It’s hard to compose with it and find my way through it, but over time I’ve also learned to try opening up and welcoming people in my life that I learned to trust. Yes, not everyone is going to be receptive. Not everyone is going to see you the way you’d like to, and not everyone is going to understand you. But it’s so worth it to simply try - as without any risk, this care that you need wouldn’t be possible. I believe in you, friend. You got this, and you ABSOLUTELY deserve to feel cared for, especially from the people you are close to. Hold Fast. :heart: