lately, i’ve been wanting to keep to myself, not talk to anyone, and just be alone with my thoughts. i recently started to engage in self-destructive behaviors that i hadn’t have done in over three years. it makes me frustrated that i cant pull myself together and be happy for everyone else around me. i feel like i am always the problem, and everyone around me is victimized by my behavior. nothing ever seems good enough. my thought consume me in waves and its so hard to pull myself back out. sometimes i think im meant to live this life, i deserve the pain and suffering i put myself through with my dark thoughts. im better off secluded and alone so i dont hurt anyone. am i better off dead?