I don’t want to be alive anymore. Everything hurts so much. Every time I find someone that I think cares about me, they just get up and leave like I’m nothing and I’ve had enough.
I just want to be at peace, no more pain, no suffering. Where I can be happy and be free.
That just isn’t an option for as long as I’m alive and I don’t see a way out of it. I’ve been holding on for so long, scared of hurting the people I love, yet, people don’t even hesitate when it comes to destroying me.
I don’t want to fight this anymore. I don’t want to wake up every day not knowing how to be happy. I just want it all to be over.
To Dan, Casey, Nate, Raven, Jenny, Steph and all you others that I’ve burdened for the last 2 or 3 years. I’m so sorry. You’ll be okay now.
UPDATE a bunch of you reached out to me in DMs, and after chatting with Casey, Casual and Dan + his stream, I’m feeling a little better. I’m a little numb due to coming down from such extreme emotion, but I’m not feeling so overwhelmed.
hey friend,
I just want to encourage you and remind you that you are such a great person. You do so much for this community, and we are all so grateful for you. You do so much for others and truly truly pour your heart and soul into others. and we’re so thankful for you. You are so so beautiful, smart, funny, kind, and brave and strong. You are the definition of a warrior.
You are loved you are loved you are loved. I cannot say it enough and we will never stop reminding you. I can’t even put into words how special you are and how much this community cares about you. You aren’t a burden, you aren’t worthless, you aren’t alone. Please remember that this love that you receive is real and true. This love will not leave you or forget about you. It won’t leave you behind or do you wrong. We are here for you and we see you. We understand your struggles and we will never stop encouraging you. You are family and we are here to give you love and support just like you do for this community. You are such a gift.
Please never give up. I’ve wanted to give up so many times, and I’ve felt completely alone after feeling like I’ve lost everyone around me and feeling like I had no value. But I kept going and met some wonderful people. I’ve come to accept that I’m not a burden to anyone and it’s okay to get help from friends. People love you. People always will, even if you don’t feel it sometimes.
It takes a lot to of courage to share your feelings with others, so I commend you for taking the time out of your day to share your thoughts and feelings. I’m so glad to know that you’re feeling a little better! Please know that it’s okay to not be okay.
Feel free to message me if you ever need anything at all, friend. <3