I cant provide for my family. I’m a shit human being. i don’t know if i’ll ever be happy. I dont care about the future. I don’t care.
I’m happy that you found us and I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time in life. It’s something most of us are going thru here too.
If you’d like to talk more about what’s going on, we’d love to listen and help support you the best we can.
Hey There @Splinterstar
So sorry to hear you are going through the feelings of being inadequate. Now I know you didn’t give much details so I don’t want to assume. But there are lots of folks out there who aren’t able to work due to all sorts of things, sometimes people want to work but can’t find a job, disabilities, etc.
Maybe today you feel bad, but what about tomorrow? You could actively work to improve your situation, even if that is something you didn’t initially picture as a good solution.
Maybe you could provide for family in a different supporting role, here’s a few ideas I had:
- Housework and household management
- Planning grocery trips for set dollar limits (I actually use instacart to preview my grocery list costs even if I don’t check out).
I don’t want to overwhelm you with my ideas, but that is kinda the direction I would go if I wasn’t able to work for example to ease the burden on the ones I love.
<3 with care/Mish
From: twixremix (Discord)
hi splinter! thank you for being a part of this heartsupport community and allowing us in during a difficult time in your life. is there something specific with how you feel you can’t provide for you family (such as job market, experience, etc.)? if you need any support on this and want to share more, we’re here to support you through it all. when it comes to you channeling your negativity in on yourself, i need you to know that statements like “i’m a shit human being” are simply not true. you have so much value to give to this world, your family, and yourself, and it’d hurt to know that you have given up on happiness. once you stop looking for happiness, the darkness will only continue to consume you and you deserve so much better than that. so what do you think it’ll take for you to gain a new, fresh perspective on life, my friend? a change of scenery, pace, goals? happiness is on your horizon so please let us know how your heartsupport community can help you reach that. love, twix
From: Lisalovesfeathers (Discord)
Hi, Thank you for your post, It sounds like you are having a really tough time and I am so sorry for that. Taking care of a family must be so very hard when you are struggling but that in no way makes you a less worthy human being. I do not think for a moment that you are “a shit human being” and I do think that you do care about the future even if you don’t recognise it yourself of you wouldn’t have written this post and believe me when i say i am so glad that you did.
I get your frustrations and fears for the future and I would love it if you would find someone to talk to about your situation, maybe a social care worker who can help with a list of people of places of support. Please don’t give up. You are an amazing human being. Much Love Lisa
I keep having breakdowns at work. I cant take the stress of my job. I took off all my holidays and going back makes me want to die.
That’s a lot, lot of stress and pressure on your shoulders. Your worth is not tied to your ability to provide to your family or not though. You are so much more than just that. I’ve been now for almost two years without working, and now on disability. I can’t count the amount of days I internally bashed myself and felt guilty, just a useless and worthless person for not being able to provide for my relationship with my partner. It is a really hard feeling to shake. But it’s also unfair to us to think that way. I’m sure you wouldn’t think that someone who is in pain because of their job or responsibilities - whether it’s physically or mentally - would be a shit human being because of it. That also applies to you right now. That guilt/shame that you feel is not something you deserve, and not something worth your energy. You are a human being. You have vulnerabilities like anyone else, and sometimes they happen to become too much.
Have you considered seeing a doctor to talk about this? You seem to be burnt out right now. It’s important to take those breakdowns as red flags and do what’s needed to get the help you deserve. Having a medical leave would be needed right now, even though I know it’s really hard to even think about it. What made me fell deep down two years ago was a burn out due to a stack of personal struggles and a very poor/unhealthy work environment. I needed to pause, even if it was hard to accept it because I felt like I was at fault and failing. Though when it becomes to the point of wanting to die, then it’s the sign that we need to slow down and be helped.
You deserve to rest, friend. What’s going on is not your fault. It can happen to anyone, even the people you look up to and see as strong. It’s circumstancial. Not a personal flaw or a weakness.
How would you describe your work environment right now?
I talked to my boss before I exploded again. He was “Very dissapointed” but “understood”. idk it all makes me feel inadequate. I’ve been meaning to quit for months but i might just take the financial hit and leave
its hectic there
I know you are hurting but i dont think those things that are happening are your fault. Your workplace is hectic and your mental healt is suffering. You job and your boss dont have the right to make your health suffer. How can anyone be dissapointed that someone leaves when they are clearly unhappy with the job and they have mental health issues. I was ill last week and called to my job I wount be coming because i was ill. I felt bad because i could not help them and it sucks but it was not my fault that my health was bad. The same goes for mental health.
Please go to your doctor and tell them how you have been feeling. They might recommend you to a therapist and give you some medication. These might be the first steps for you to get better and when you will be feeling better your family will too. Dont let your mental healt wither away. Your mind needs care and healing the same way as your body.
I’m feeling better. I’m looking for a new job but I think I can stand staying in this one a pinch longer.
That is great. I am glad that you are feeling better and that you are working on making your life better. Keep at it. Have you seen a professional about the way you have been feeling.I know things are looking up and that is amazing but it would still help you to see somebody who can help you on your way. It is up to you but I think it would help.
Well done for coming to this decision @Splinterstar. It sounds that your current job is indeed affecting you in ways that shouldn’t be. Again, it’s not your fault. It unfortunately happens to many, many of us as work environment tend to become very unhealthy and be led by poor management.
I wish you the best for your job search. You deserve to work in a place that would be fulfilling to you.
Through it all, we’ll be here to support you. You can count on us. You’re not alone.
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