I want to do too many things

  1. Identify a personal goal that you would like to reach. What are the changes you want to create in your life?

My goal is…

  1. To butcher the misanthropy that engulfs the deplorable half of my bipolar I brain.

  2. To move out of my parents house. It’s solely because of my mother. I’m 28. She homeschooled us k-12, entirely because she didn’t want us to have sex/be exposed to psychotropics/mating-behaviors. I left home at 19 for the military. 4 years. Got out, lived with a woman for 2. That ended in an electric dumpster fire. I was a disaster. Alcoholic, drug-addicted atheist. My parents lovingly let me back in. I would’ve been homeless. Now, I am 22 months sober and half-way to getting a bachelors of applied science while working full time. – It’s wonderful they let me return. Truly. But I’m not allowed to date*. She doesn’t trust non-Christians or non-whites. And, that’s all I attract. Naturally.

  3. To invent cure for bipolar 1 as I am literally incapable of deciding which worldview to stick with. Secular humanist or devout Christian. Now is a medium of the two, but it is terribly difficult to communicate my perspective on topics due to everyone I know being at either extreme end. Perhaps this goal should instead be, “To completely cease thinking about what others think of my opinion”? But that seems irrational. “To stop overthinking”? How does one underthink?

  4. To continue strength gains momentum in the gym and not let depression stop me from going again (I’ve been working out for 10 years. Will make a year progress then loose 5 months to depression. All muscle is lost and fat builds). I am at 4 months progress atm. 5 days a week an hour a day.

  5. To not give up on school. I’m at the point where I truly don’t like learning anymore. Thanks to a lifetime of using the internet, I enjoy learning about things I feel like learning about and will never need to remember, so there’s no difficulty or effort in the learning. It’s ruining school. Perhaps I should give up internet?

  6. To actually find purpose in my life and art. I love to draw, write, play guitar and compose lyric-less music. Obviously, absolutely nothing grand will come from these things. My biggest fan is me. I find comfort in the fact that, at the very least, it will be a legacy of me. I just wish I knew how to utilize this well.

  1. Formulate your goal in a way that is specific and measurable. What does it look like when you’ve succeeded?

I will reach my goal when…

  1. I don’t despise humanity ever again. Find joy wherever and whenever I can.

  2. I’m living on my own. Independent again, and stably so.

  3. I am entirely comfortable with myself; have utmost confidence in providing eloquent perspectives on any matter.

  4. I can look in the mirror at any moment and any angle and be proud of how I look. At the moment, certain angles are great. More can be done.

  5. Have degree and begin career.

  6. I don’t know. It feels as if I’ll know the art actually does has purpose suddenly. Perhaps on my death bed; proud that I’m leaving something behind.

  1. When do you want it to be done by? Make sure to define a healthy and realistic time line.
    Example: “In eight months, by 12/18/23.”

I want it to be done by…

  1. Ideally, ASAP. I hate the dread I have for imagined others. Then I feel guilty that I had the dread to begin with. Perhaps after receiving non-dismissive, unambiguous advice, this goal can be accomplished smoothly and quickly.

  2. This can be accomplished within a couple of months. I just greatly fear the prospect that I might need to cut back on school to work more than 50 hours a week to make rent and all my bills. I’m closer to the country; nothing’s cheap.

  3. This certainly correlates with #1, I realize. The sooner, the better. Perhaps together, these goals can be reached in as little as a week, and maybe months at most.

  4. Within one more year and no breaks, this goal can be crushed. No quitting is key. Healthier diet will launch this goal, too.

  5. Earliest, December 2025. VERY easily can be much later. I have to make my own way.

  6. Whenever it happens. I won’t stop while alive. It’s how I enjoy myself. It’s how I live. It’s illustrating how I think. The things I imagine and the noises in my head.

Thank you so much for reading. You are all a blessing and writing this all down was itself very therapeutic and comforting.



Wow I’m so pumped for you! Yes you want to do these things, but it’s such a healthy movement forward. Honestly even if you achieve one of those things in a year, I’ll be so proud and stoked for you! I’ll be ready with the confetti and cake!
Can’t wait to hear how things are doing for you!

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