Why is being alive so difficult?
Life has been difficult to say the least and I am fighting the urge to do something really bad.
I am fighting the thoughts in my head and the desire to relapse and to OD and never wake up again.
Ever day now, I wake up and I hate myself and everything even more. It makes me want to never see another day.
It drives me nuts that I have no good reason to feel like this,
All I want is for all of this to stop.
Why am I invisible to everybody now that I need to be seen, now that I need people around me to hold me? What have I done wrong to deserve this much pain?
All I want is for somebody to see or hear me in this and acknowledge that i cannot live like that and that i am struggling for my life.
If nothing happens, i have to make things happen.
I am sorry, but I too far gone to come back, i do not want to live anymore.
There is nothing you can say or do to make this less true; I am an invisible loser and no one will miss me.
Thanks all of you that made the last months and years less awful.