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I want to give up again

i just don’t think i can do this. i’m moving in a week, which is good news for me, but i have to immediately get a full time job and waste my years away. i can’t even work normally because my mental health and now with all the pandemic stuff i’m sure i’m just sending myself off to die for companies. and even if i don’t what’s the point of living if i just work then retire so i can’t even live while i’m frail. i don’t have the luxury of getting a job i love, i’m creative and just want to do art but i’m mediocre at best. i don’t dream of working to be paid almost nothing just to stuff big companies pockets and be forced into submission on what i can look like or do. the last time i worked, i was pushed to brink of killing myself (but that’s not new). why do we have to pay to live and by that point we’re just using all of our money on bills and food so is that really living if you can’t even do anything or go anywhere? you just have two days a week to yourself and even then it’s wasted because i can’t even function and just take the time to sleep and deal with my anxiety on those days. investing money or finding a dream job is a privilege and most people can’t afford it. i’m better off not being here if all i have to look forward to is suffering and wasting the little time i have. i can’t even do new hobbies because those cost money and i can’t afford that and i don’t have energy to eat by the time i get home, let alone be creative.

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Its definitely not a waste hopefully your anxiety will get better and you could meet new people at work that can help improve your daily life. 2 days off is better than getting no days off after a long week you deserve to enjoy that. I believe in you best of luck

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Believe me when I say, I think a lot of adults have felt this way about life. Are you open to trying new trades? There are so many jobs out there that I think we would like more than we know, if we’re open to trying them out.

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Hey Friend, we are here for you. Watch this video, and never give up.

Hold Fast,
Matt, twoguys1couch

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It’s never time to give up and a world without you in not a complete world until it’s time for you to officially clock out. Keep your head up and plough forward. The world is here for you. Be STRONG! xxx

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Hey friend,

why do we have to pay to live and by that point we’re just using all of our money on bills and food so is that really living if you can’t even do anything or go anywhere? you just have two days a week to yourself and even then it’s wasted because i can’t even function and just take the time to sleep and deal with my anxiety on those days.

Honestly, this same question has been a deep struggle to me as well, and a cause of some crippling fears. I’m not working right now. Part of it is because life happened, but also because I don’t feel ready yet to work again. And one reason of that is because I feel afraid of finding a job that would be needed, but not fulfilling. Through the different jobs I did, it always hit me to realize how much time we spent at work during our life - which could be whether positive if we love what we do, or pretty negative if we don’t. But on the top of that, despite that fact that I experienced both of those, there was still this anxiety that was draining all of my energy and motivation at the end of the day. I ended to be a couch potato every evening, and that’s not who I want to be. So, for what it’s worth, I hear your concerns here. And this question you ask is certainly something that crossed the mind of many people.

Though, there might be some nuances here. It’s not necessarily only about having whether a fulfilling job or not, but going through a journey. One job can bring you to another one. One job can be a needed rock to develop a personal project. You’re lucky if you have a fulfilling job at first, indeed. But it doesn’t have to be where you’d spend the rest of your life either. It can be a stepping stone, something that provides you financial resources and stability while you keep building your own projects and are heading towards them. But it definitely requires to be proactive and use our time carefully. Quite some strategic thinking, scheduling, but also just a lot of inner reflection on what you desire to do in this life while being realistic. For example, if I was living alone, I’d probably be living in a caravan. Though I can’t, my partner and I are still having a very simple way to live, which is for both of us a good compromise and a way to give space and money to our hobbies. And why not, maybe build something out of it in the future, at least for him. You just do it progressively, step by step.

I hear that having this new job might be scary and raise many questions. When we look around us, we see people that are more often tired and exhausted by their job than they’re happy about it. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t create and seek the meaning you need in your life. Maybe your hobbies will be your job at some point. Maybe not. Or maybe a mix of those. Who knows what the future holds? What is sure is, despite how awful is this world sometimes, you can create your own way. It doesn’t have to be revolutionary in face of this society. Just yours. The result of your choices, of your decisions, of your strength and perseverance. This is the beginning of something new - the moving, the job. You got this friend. Just step by step. :hrtlegolove:

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