I will never be loved or wanted. Yes, my family may love me, but it’s pretty much their job to do so. No one will ever care about me, off their own back. And tbh, I can’t blame them. All I’ve ever had in life is people coming and going. Coming to me like a sorry pile of problems. But then when I’ve helped them, they ditch me and I’m left alone again. I don’t want to be here anymore. I know people will say “it gets better” and shit. I know this. But I feel like shit now and honestly, the thought that this will be over EVENTUALLY doesn’t satisfy me. I honestly want to “take the easy way out”
I understand completely. I’ve bent over backwards for people and when in camE down to it they weren’t there for me. This is just life. People are selfish nowadays. You don’t need anyone to be happy. You need to be selfish to. I hang out with friends on my own terms. I’ll only help people who help me. Don’t let the people of this world win and be the reason you hurt yourself. It’s not worth it. I hit rock bottom!!! Then I decided to be selfish and worry about number one and of course your family. You don’t need anyone to be happy. Go to a therapist. I did and I’m in such a better place. I’m here for you my friend.
Thanks man. I just wish people were a lot more empathetic. It sucks.
I can totally relate with what you are feeling and going through. When I was growing up we moved, CONSTANTLY, I have no childhood friends because we never stayed anywhere long enough to make those friends and the internet was only a shadow of what it is today.
I’ve been on my own since I was 16 so not even my family stuck around. When I was a young adult the pattern continued. I can’t tell you how much reading your post took me right back to those times.
I am proof that it does get better. Today I have a family that I CHOSE who have stuck with me through so much worse than my family ever did. They are my people and I couldn’t have accomplished as much as I have with out them. But I had to do work on myself to get here. I had to stop worrying about no one ever loving me and worry about loving myself. It is easier said than done And it takes time for sure, but it is absolutely possible AND worth it.
You aren’t alone hun and thank you for being so open and allowing us to be there for you however we are able.
Thank you. I’m glad you got a better family
Thank you. I can’t wait to hear when things turn around for you because I know they will.
I almost completely for got to tell you something someone told me, try to remember this when it comes to people who come into your life:
There are three types of people who come into your life. Some are like leaves on a tree and only stay for a season. Others are like branches but not all branches can carry the weight of friendship and break when you need them most, but the people who really care are like roots of the tree, they run deep to anchor and nourish you. It takes time to be able to tell who is who, so that you don’t mistake leaves and branches for roots.
I swear I hate myself there is something really wrong with me I’m a waste of time and breath I’ve made stupid mistakes but I try to do right but I only make it worse I’m the cause of every ones misery including my own I want to be happy but I don’t deserve it