I want to kms

From hxyodabruhmini: I physically I’m not sure what I am anymore, I was doing better and then it all just came crashing down like always I’m worse then ever I’m hearing voices which I’m sure is the most mental thing I can say I’ve been self harming myself a lot and I don’t know how to stop it it’s not like Ik what I’m doing in the moment ig it just happens. Then there’s the times where I’m either really fucking stressed out or just lonely asf and numb I’ve never felt like this much of a burden in peoples lives although I can’t truthfully say they’ve all told me I can feel it, I feel like if I ended it all today I would be doing the world a great favour. I don’t think they would even realize for the first little while. I know these seem like stupid reasons to be considering suicide idk I just feel. What’s the word worthless, hopeless. yeah

2 Likes

Hi @hxyodabruhmini, Thank you for reaching out at such a difficult time. Can I start by saying that you are loved and I can promise you even without knowing your friends and family that you are no burden. You are a loved one who needs love and support and there is nothing wrong with that, many of us need that sometimes, it doesn’t make you bad or a problem in anyway, it just makes you require a little more love, someone to hear you and for that someone to let you know how very important you are.
Life can very much be a challenge sometimes and can be incredibly hard to manage and it can make us feel very alone because we do not want to put our problems on to others, however I can tell you from both sides of the coin that a loved one would rather you took up their time and asked for help than ever ending your life. You deserve to be here and to be content with life and if that means reaching out like here now or to every one in your life then please do so, we are always here for you. I would certainly encourage you to speak to your doctor and see what they suggest to help (you dont get anything if you dont ask and you have nothing to lose)
You sound like a wonderful but very stressed person and there is always another way other than ending things.
If you do wish you talk to someone please call the crisis line, here are a list of resources that can help.

I care about you, stay in touch here please. Lisa. x

2 Likes

None of this is stupid, friend. It’s about what you’re going through, how life has been for you lately and the way you feel - so it matters, it really does. It sounds like you’ve been navigating through your share of ups and downs lately and it makes sense to feel exhausted because of it. Sometimes life surely feels like a never-ending roller-coaster, while the thing we wish the most is the possibility to get back on our feet and walk by ourselves instead. Feeling worthless and hopeless makes sense when you feel like life is crushing you down. I hear you here, and I’m sorry you’ve been going through such a rough time lately.

On top of it, feeling like you have people in your life but they just don’t hear you out or don’t really care is another layer of heartbreak to deal with. Personally I have felt as you do several times in my life, and it was absolutely lonely to be in this position. To feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts and emotions, and to feel like no one cares while you’re burning alive.

For what it’s worth: we care here. We may not be your close friends and basically strangers on the internet, still it has to matter even just a little bit. I feel thankful for the possibility to get to know you, for responding to you here - there is no sense of being burdened by you or by the fact that you share your struggles. It is a true gift but to share authenticity and genuine conversations with others. When someone doesn’t appreciate that, they’re likely not comfortable with that type of conversation, have other worries in mind or are not emotionally available… but that says something about them, not you. Whenever you share your voice and ask for help, you are right for doing so. Always.

I hope you are having a good day today, or at the very least that you can find some highlights and source of joy. You matter, friend. :heart: