I want to starve myself to look pretty

Im married with 3 kids i love my kids but i feel fat ugly discusting like my husband doesnt want me anymore… I tried many diets many… To many to count but i allways bouce right back… I and currently having bad thoughts i want to starve myself… I sometimes feel like cutting my veins feel im soo ugly for this world i just want to be skinny beutiful but im not …

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I know sometimes we want to find a quick fix of even think this will solve our problems but honestly doesn’t change anything. Typically speaking from experience its the pain underneath the outer image that causes these thoughts to come up. Rather it’s shame, past trauma, past things that were said to use even unintentionally. It’s getting to the root of why we so desperately hate who we are. Normal it’s not even about the weight. I am really sorry you are struggling with this. From experience starving yourself can truly spiral you life even more. You think you can control it and even be in control but in reality it can spiral quickly and your whole life can change for the worse. As someone who just wanted to lose a few pounds my whole life fell apart because I fell into an anorexia and it was hell. My whole life became about food and rituals shame and pain. I couldn’t stop and even at my thinnest I was miserable and had so much guilt. I hated myself even more. No amount of weight loss could fill the void, fix the pain that was deep in my heart. I didn’t become happier but ended up almost losing myself and had to go to treatment which was insanely hard. I’d maybe challenge yourself to try to meet yourself where you are at with grace and compassion. Try to see yourself as good and in a new light. I know how hard it is and is something I still struggle with alot. I hope you can start to get to a place where you can see how valuable you are. That you are enough, that you are loved and more than your weight. That it’s possible to even start of try journey of self compassion.

@Nurian6687

Hey, thank you for sharing this with us. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of anxieties right now. Having kids changes your body, and that is totally okay! Try to remember that you have three beautiful children that you love and thats why your body has changed, and its good, it needed to change to support those kids. It is so easy to look into the mirror and find flaws in ourselves, I do it all the time, one thing that has helped me is trying to say affirmations to myself every morning and/or evening. It’s a bit awkward and hard at first, but it has helped me IMMENSELY. Here is just a small list of ones that I try to do every day:

-I am good enough/fine as I am
-I deserve love; I can have love
-I am a good person
-I am worthy; I am worthwhile
-I am honorable
-I am lovable
-I deserve goos things
-I am/can be healthy
-I am intelligent
-I am important
-I matter
-I am okay as I am
-I deserve to be happy

I would also strongly encourage you to talk to your husband about this if you haven’t already. I am sure he loves you and loves your kids and loves your body for bringing them into the world. I would also urge you to maybe seek out professional help such as a counselor or therapist about the want to self harm.

We love you. We are here for you. You are an integral part of this community.
You are beautiful exactly how you are.
Hold Fast,
Hannah Presley