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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Slipknot Vermilion pt 2
I want to throw the towel in, and surrender to my insanity. Since I’m going back to jail, and got killed by this one girl that i slept with. My mother is sick, and my dad is dead and most of my friends how do you deal with that
Hey friend,
This sounds incredibly overwhelming. It makes sense that with all of this going on you would just want to give up. It feels like there is so much pain, so much chaos, so much terror around you that you don’t even know where to begin. Like you’re looking at a puzzle and all of the pieces are black, how do you sort through that? How do you start to put things in order. It feels like overwhelming darkness.
I’m proud of you for even sharing all you are going through here. That’s a way to start to sort through the pieces. When you lay it all face up on the table it’s a start. Reaching out to a place where you can get help is another step that you took. Even having someone stand with you in the pain, in the mess, can remind you that’ you’re not alone. You don’t have to do this alone.
You’re still trying to turn the pieces over and put them all back together and that shows that you’re resilient, and that there is a part of you that knows the truth, which is that if you just keep going, you can put the puzzle back together and see the full picture, which is much better than you can imagine is possible right now.
Sending love
Hey friend,
You’ve been through a lot recently, and it must have felt particularly lonely to process/deal/navigate with all of this adversity happening in your life. It’s so hard when it feels like your entire life is breaking down, piece by piece, while you have no real control over time. You’re forced to be on the passenger side, witnessing unwanted changes and losses over and over. Hard to not wonder how one is supposed to keep going when life as a whole becomes a pile of obstacles to deal with. It’s overwhelming, suffocating, discouraging.
I can only imagine right now what the perspective of going to prison is generating in you. It’s completely understandable that a part of you just want to surrender and throw the towel. When you’re facing a mountain that only seems to get bigger and bigger, even with your best efforts it feels discouraging to see all that needs to be climbed, still. It feels more tempting to not try at all and stay on the ground, even if it’s not where we want to be.
When life beats you down in such unfair and profound wayys, it can sometimes be turned into forced invitations to ourselves, to be particularly kind and patient with our heart. You are doing what you can. You are surviving with the tools you have, and the fact that you’ve shared about all of this here, that you share your voice, is such a fundamental part of this process.
I can’t tell you when things will get better, or when it will feel like it… but I surely see you, I see the strength and fire that exists within this hear of yours, and expressing your vulnerability here is such a beautiful testimony of it. I believe in you, in your ability to make through this particularly rough season of your life, to se ethe other side of it without giving up altogether. That one day you’ll have the possibility to look back and acknowledge how far you’ve come, and how much strength, beauty of soul there is within you.
If you need to share more or a community to rely on while navigating all of this, please don’t hesitate to rely on this community at Heartsupport as much as you need. We’re rooting for you. 
@@HeartSupport I was hiding from people in my past who make scary dudes look like babies. but since i have gone to court they found me after 14 years. i looked for help but nothing will help me here. Canada isn’t that friendly place that we have bin stereotyped to be you’d end up going missing like thousand of others here and never found. tonight i have no choice but to face my demons otherwise i will have them show up to my place, and i cant have that people that i live with shouldn’t have to deal with my past tonight is that night thank you anyways