I was caught

My parents found out about me and my boyfriend talking to each other again which wasn’t good, but as soon as they found out I asked them why they’re so sensitive about it then went to bed for a few hours. Later my sister found out I was cutting myself and wanted to kill myself because of the stress of not being allowed to talk to the one person I really love. Then my sister told my dad, and he barged in my room and lifted up my arms yanking my sleeves up asking “What the fuck is this?!” and I just pulled my sleeve back down, hoping he’d go away, but he yelled at me to go tell my mom what I did to myself, and afterwards I ended up getting a body inspection from my dad then we went to the hospital after me begging him not to take me.


Well all I can say is if it’s because of your parents tell the doctors and your parents can be arrested for child abuse and neglect


Never let someone touch you, grab you, and throw you around like that. I don’t car eif I he in trouble for saying this. Fuck that guy, he needs a beating, he needs someone to kick him in the fucking balls. Men like that just piss me off so fucking much. He had no right to do that. I’d advise asking for a therapist instead of his stupid bitching. Let NO ONE invade your personal space.

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This right here^ these do not sound like healthy parents. They sound like shitty people. If the doctor’s aren’t assholes they should take ur side, but if ur over 14 they’ll prolly think ur just some whiny teen. (No offense it’s just the way those assholes think) I’d advise a therapist instead. Or CPS

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Also forgot to mention, they probably got pissed off and hiding you from him because of how dependent you seem to be with him. They don’t realize you’re dependent on him because he’s the only kind person around, they just see him as danger. And just to add to what I was saying before, you should take up for yourself, his toxic masculinity clearly doesn’t understand the pain you’re going through, tbh the only way to get the message to a dumb piece of shit like that is with their own language, which is a beat down.


how are you doing? I’m really sorry you experienced that with your Dad. Some times men, get angry because that is the one emotion they feel they can express and still be a “man”. Very few will look at your arms and cry, and be sad with you and for you, and it’s bad for him too, cause he doesn’t realize why he’s acting the way he’s acting.
It’s not right, he shouldn’t scream at you and handle you in such a rough way. He should not scare you, he should love you, and tell you how much he loves you. He should tell you he doesn’t understand how someone he could love so much would hurt herself. He’s screwed this up and you’ve lost trust in him. You know him, so is there an opportunity here for you to tell him how you feel. Write to him if you don’t want to speak with him, see if you can find a way forward through the hurt that’s been done. Forgiveness is really important, because in the end forgiveness is for us, not for the people who hurt us. Lean into loving yourself … it takes patience, forgiveness, and practice and will fill you up, not leave you empty. Peace

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Hey there friend,

I’m really sorry to hear you had to deal with this situation. Sometimes we build up these barriers between ourselves and others in our life, and it’s always scary and difficult when they come crashing down.

This might have come as just as much of a shock to your parents and family as having this all come out was to you, and while I don’t think their reaction to it was the right way to go about it, I could see it being attributed to shock. It doesn’t excuse it, but it might explain it a bit.

I would definitely recommend getting in touch with a professional over this and taking steps to move forward with finding treatment for yourself. You could also open up a discussion with your parents about your relationship, why it concerns them, and maybe what boundaries could be put in place to help make sure they feel you’re safe, and make you feel like you’re respected. The important thing is to find a middle ground here, and work WITH them :slight_smile:

Best of luck,



Hey there, thanks for sharing about what’s going on in your life. That’s really brave of you.

I understand how being kept from talking to someone you really care bout feels incredibly unfair and on top of that, having some personal things exposed to your family when you weren’t ready to share them isn’t fair either.

I want to ask a clarifying question so that I can better understand your situation: What’s the reason you aren’t being allowed to speak with your boyfriend? As a parent myself, I would make sure that my child is spending time with people that are safe and respect my family and their values. Are they purposefully trying to keep you away from someone you love, or are they doing their job and putting up boundaries to protect you and you just disagree?

Also, while I don’t agree with how your family reacted to them finding out you’ve been harming yourself and having unsafe thoughts, I can’t really find any fault in them wanting to do something
about it. So many people don’t understand the level of shame and guilt associated with self-harm and suicidal thoughts, so often the way they react isn’t appropriate because they just know that someone they love very much is hurting themselves and default to a very emotional response.

I very much disagree with the advice given to you about retaliating with violence, that’s not going to solve anything at all. I believe it will only make things worse.
In my opinion, this is a very delicate situation that is going to require a lot of time, patience, and conversations.

This is all very complex and I hope your family finds some peace in this situation soon. Also, I want you to check out our book on self harm called: ReWrite (http://amzn.to/2JJUDVl)
It has a lot of really valuable information as well as an entire section for parents to help them understand this as well.

You’re loved.
Hold Fast.



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