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I will never go through at least one day without being stressed at least once

I every day I get so stressed out and overwhelmed. I feel like whenever I make a mistake I get yelled at. When people yell at me I just want to die, because I can never escape people who have authority over me. I’m getting sick of being manipulated. I’m getting tired of doing complicated, stressful work that I won’t even get anything out of.

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I have a lot of anxiety as well. I’ve just come to focus on the fact that I will never really need to be a not-anxious person. I shake and my voice gets nervous in situations. I get nervous once and that thought stays trapped in my mind of the time I was nervous.

To break away from these thoughts I think about all the people I could have been. All the people dead that would probably rather be in someone at a paranoid anxious level on anxiety meds and actually able to breathe and walk around, enjoy television, etc.

And I am hopeful for the future when substances that are currently illegal you can microdose become legal to better treat my anxiety.

I’ve been searching for something for ages. Sometimes I take Kratom. It’s not FDA approved and they even tried to ban it because it can be an alternative to real meds but they didn’t have enough evidence on how well it actually works. I tried like 30 different kinds until i found the kind that works the best for me. I would do your research though and understand that because no one reviews it it can be a risk.

I’ve been through the hell of constant stress for years. Sometimes I feel like the world is out to manipulate you unless you manipulate them first, but I know that’s not true and try not to think of that. I try to let things go and meditate.

I wish I could choose when to work and do this work from home thing forever. I’d have more money and time at the end of each month and I’m so greatful I get to do this right now, though I’m losing money through raising prices on meat in my area from supermarkets.

I know how it feels , and I know sometimes it feels hopeless. I just try to think that my grandparent’s generation was drafted into the military and came home with horrible injuries and PTSD, with not muich support from the govt. I think about the people that died during all of these diseases during the great depression and the worldwide pandemics, the concentration camps. etc. And I’m still alive. I can still change and I can still make an impact and be succesful because my body and mind still work, even if not the best.

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Hello buddy, sounds like you are having a hard time. I am glad you shared what’s making you angry and stressed. And I pray for you to find your way trough it.
You are not damaged, you are not “wrong”, nor deserve to be yelled at. It doesn’t matter what you did, it doesn’t justify people treating you poorly.
Breath in, friend, you’ll be alright.

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