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I wish god would take me up already

i think about sneaking out walking into the street at night. when i go to places where i’m not at home, i think about going to the kitchen to get knives. i cry when i forget my blade. i know you all can’t help me through a website. or at least stop me from doing anything in person. but i honestly wonder sometimes why can’t i just go die somewhere. i thought today that maybe i could start distancing relationships so that people wouldn’t be hurt so much if i really died. but then i realize that if i care how i hurt them, there’s no point. i guess sometimes i just wish dying was an easy option. i honestly don’t want to be here.

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I do relate too your peom, sometime I wish I wasnt in this wordl too, and have the urge to self harm myself or flip out on someone. It most shitty feeling you could have, but like everyone here you not the only one. Mostly everyone struggle with their own personal demons and self doubts. But it not easy to turn off the pain and push forward.

But sperating from people is not the answer or will give you peace. The bitter feeling would still be their regardless you with people or not. You have let go of your defences and aspect things the way they are such good things and bad things. Those feeling may always been there, but that will soon past. With saddness, happness or whatever, they always come and go. Whatever you feeling going through whatever anxiety or saddnes, you will get past it.

Remeber my firend you are not alone as you think are.
Hold fast !

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hey @lifeisfrickinhard :
Hurting yourself shouldnt be an answer . Even though you are hurting rightnow , this feeling may be temporary but its not pernament. We can help you by telling you that you are human , you have breath in your lungs, that you are also not alone. When you mention " or at least stop me from doing it in person," the truth is people can stop you from doing that stuff. Go talk to a professional , go into a treatment center, or even continue to reach out when you are having a rough day. This community that was created was for people to reach out when they are struggling.
Also Heart Support has a better help thing : Heart support - better help if you want to talk to someone .
Also join the heart suport streams : https://www.twitch.tv/heartsupport monday,wednesdays and fridays from 4 pm to 6 pm EST. We love to see you around and let you know you are so not alone .
Also, You dont deserve to die, you were made for a reason . Also the truth is you do want to be here because you are reaching out because you know something isnt right here.
You are human , you have breath in your lungs…
Hold fast you’re worth it!
-Ashley