I wish I could be feminine

For my whole life, I’ve been a tomboy. I only ever wear hoodies, tees, sweats, gym shorts, occasionally jeans, and my converse or docs. I used to wear makeup but only because I was self conscious about my face. I’m not anymore. My friends have always seen me as masculine, and they tell me so. But now I wish I could start being feminine.

I get so jealous when I see dainty girls in pretty dresses, lipstick, cute underthings, etc. I love how they look like perfect dolls and wish so much that I could be just like them.

There’s things that prevent me from this life. One is that I’m never taken seriously by anyone who knows me when I voice my desires.

Only a few months ago I asked my mom if she would buy me a dress to wear at my friend’s birthday party, and she laughed. “Are you serious? I thought you hated dresses, Meg.” I felt stupid. And the last time I ever even said I didn’t like dresses I was like 5.

Once, my friends and I were discussing dating, when another friend told me something that both enforces lesbian stereotypes and is just none of her business. “I see you as probably being ‘the man’ in the relationship.” Any other gay girl who’s heard this understands how annoying it gets.

Another obstacle for me is my body. I’m an average height, but my weight is awful. I’m not obese, but I’m 10-20 pounds heavy and hate it. So, so much. I don’t look good in any of the clothing I find so lovely. Wearing them would be putting a band-aid on a bullet-wound. I would look so silly and probably even uglier than I do already. Like how many people view male crossdressers.

How do I negotiate these obstacles and begin dressing the way I like?


I recommend training yourself to be less sensitive to the opinions of others and to just be yourself. Not caring about what others think becomes easier, with age. You can’t hold on to fake friends or wishy washy family. Embrace the change. New friends are just around the corner. Cheers.


It can be really tough to step out of your comfort zone when it comes to fashion. But I think it’s super cool that you want to try something different. My best advice would be to just go for it!! It’s like deciding to cut your hair- you just have to take that leap and screw what everyone else thinks!
Ironically, I used to experience the same apprehensions while dressing in more masculine clothes. My style is very flexible, and I wear a lot of different things that mostly resonate a feminine quality, but my body type makes Most of my clothes look feminine. I’ve always loved when I saw girls that could pull off wearing men’s clothing. I think it can be so attractive- but I always felt self conscious to do it. Then one day, I just said “f*** it! I’m wearing all boys clothes today!” And I did. And it was awesome. I still borrow a lot of clothes from one of my male cousins when I’m in the mood (:
Do what makes you happy. Take the time to explore new choices… Be who you want to be. We’re all here cheering for you!
Best wishes friend

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