I wish I could end it all

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It sad that I’m too much of coward to kill myself. I wish I could just slipped my wrist, or jump in front of car. I’m too much of weak person not commit. My family would be better if I was not born, I’m not a good person.

No matter of how I exercise, work on DBT, take medication and just everything, I’m still a peice of shit. The world will always look at me as a peice of shit. As a creep, as a freak, a weak loser retard that should have kill myself long ago. I don’t want to be alive anymore. I just want the pain to go away.

I’m get tired of people calling me a creep, saying that I like to check under girls and that look as like Michael Jackson or some fucking disgusting human. How fucking dare they put in that group, I want to hurt everyone mother fucker that said that shit about me. I want to hurt their family and then make them pay, for saying all horrible things that not, while some those fucker vote for trump that did stuff to women, who fuck these asshole to make those judgements about me. Fuck them all.

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Hi my Friend,
glad to see you here, thank you for sharing again.
You face judgement everywhere, also i have to deal with it. i get judged because of my tattoos
very often and stuff like that, and that is something that will ever be this way.
what is extremely sad, because no one is in a position to judge another person. no one can look into
someones mind, around the corner.
the thing is that you can prove everyone wrong with your actions. what i mean with it, spread kindness
and awareness, be nice to people, help others, do yourself good, treat others like you want to be
treated. the people who judge you will be proven wrong by YOUR actions. that is what you have in
your OWN hands. do that.
and you are not a coward because you don’t kill yourself. you are a strong human, a strong character,
admitting your vulnerability, what most people would not do.
you are strong because there is your will to live, and face those worries and issues you have. that is
a strength my friend. i am proud of you for posting here, we are proud of you to be a part of your
journey that you share with us.
most people would never do that. you let us help you, be there for you, so you also help us becoming
better, grow as a person. we are all facing issues and have our own worries.
bloom my friend, you deserve that. you are worth everything good in this world and you deserve that.
Feel hugged and i hope your day will be nice,
Greetings

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It takes a lot of courage to commit to life, and do your best. Maybe you don’t want to kill yourself because you can’t change your mind later if you do. You’re not weak. You don’t give up, even when you feel really down on yourself.

They accuse you because they are “projecting,” their own hidden impulses and desires on you. For example, a thief will assume others are stealing. A liar believes others are lying. A power hungry person assumes everyone’s struggling for power. I think you get the idea. It’s a pretty natural characteristic of the mind.

So, if a person is calling you a creep, it’s because the creepiness resides in their mind, not yours. If a person attacks your looks, it’s because they aren’t happy with their own looks. People who attack others are simply reporting on their own character.

Remember that elementary school saying, “sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Although it may not feel like it, we decide whether we feel hurt by the words of others. We can decide that those negative words are about as meaningful as a dog’s barking at clouds.

There’s an author, Byron Katie, who proposes these four questions:
Q1. Is it true?
Well, I can tell you, your first assumption is not true.

Q2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
You are a good person.
You can absolutely know that you’re a good person, based on all the effort, intentions and progress you’ve made.

Q3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
This a really important thing to consider. When you believe you’re a bad person, your subconscious, and other levels of mind work hard to validate your negative self-concept. As long as you stay pissed off at yourself, and badmouth yourself, you’re depriving yourself of the confidence and ability to make things better for yourself.

Q4. Who would you be without that thought?
A much happier person!

Sounds exhausting! :upside_down_face:

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I’m thinking of making a shirt that says, “people are so rude to me I don’t want to be alive.” There’s a real problem in this country with how rude people are. Our education system does a terrible job teaching people respect. That being said, do you know of the struggles your ancestors went through? You are a decent of people who survived catastrophic events that changed the face of the world. Don’t you dare let their struggle go to waste.

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Your post is a rough read Metalskater1990. My heart aches in many ways at the reading of it. I’m thankful that you haven’t killed yourself. My opinion, there is a very, very low respect for human life in the current culture, but I think life is miraculous! There are so many intricacies to it that it makes me marvel. You obviously don’t see yourself that way, but I think you’re a miracle. There is so much potential trapped in the current state of your life. I hope you find a way to untap it

I’m guessing that you haven’t been well cared for…
That may make you rage at the reading of it, or it may make you weep at your own loss. Usually the desire to make others hurt and “make them pay” means you’ve been hurt too. Usually there’s much pain under the anger. Suffering is common to every human being, in that way you are not alone.
You are not alone here at Heart Support. You are welcome here.

I hope you don’t give in or give up. Would you be willing to think about it, and respond with one way in which you can see value in your life? My daughter was suicidal for years, the only thing that kept her from leaving this life was knowing how much it would hurt me. It helped her make it through until she found value in living her life for her own life’s sake. Take care~you are worth it

#988 if talking to a crisis counselor would be helpful.