I wish I could quit

I’ve been on a hard alcohol binge for the past few years. Ever since this lockdown started I’ve been hitting the bottle way too hard.

A few weeks ago I started waking up with light tremors. Nothing a cup of coffee and a bowl couldn’t solve

Until Sunday morning when all the bowl did was made things worse. My heart started beating through my chest as my limbs started going numb.

Fighting to stay conscious, fully aware what my body was craving. I thought ‘just take a shot maybe that’ll make you feel better’

And it did.

So now I drink all day and all night until I go to sleep. And it sucks. I don’t know what to do to stop this. I’m scared if I stop I will die

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I’m sorry man, I was dealing with something similar with self harm. I was 9 mouths clean and I just snap last night at my parents. I wish that addiction can go away for all of us. Thank you for sharing, and I hope you can get help.

This sounds like a super tough time for you. It’s been really isolating with this whole coronavirus situation. I know I’ve felt super isolated during all this like I haven’t seen my friends in person in a long while. I find myself eating more fast food and eating more to cope with my feelings. I’m not sure if you are still able to connect with friends but I encourage you to reach out to them. Maybe you’re not in a space to talk about the drinking but just connecting with them will help with that. I know it’s helped me to keep from being super isolated.

It seems like you’re in a situation where you may need to consider talking to medical professionals when you’re ready to reduce your alcohol consumption - they would know best about the process of making sure that you’ll be okay. Whenever that time may be, I hope you pursue talking to a medical professional because you’re worth sticking around!

Take Care!

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Congratulations man, you just completed AA Step 1. You’ve realized you can’t stop this on your own. That’s the hardest part, realizing you’ve lost control of the situation and admitting it to yourself and to a forum full of strangers. Does it feel like a weight off your shoulders?

So you’ve admitted you have a very real, immediate, life-threatening problem. Now what? Like @cascadiastudio said, it’s probably best to get medical treatment. Alcohol withdrawals can be deadly, and you’ll want doctors standing by to make sure you’re okay. It’s not going to be fun, but you can get through it, and at the very least break the chemical dependency cycle. Don’t worry about what comes after that just yet. You’ve got a big enough challenge ahead of you. Once you get through this challenge, you can think about the future whichever way you’d like. Don’t be afraid, you can beat this.

Hi @Stevesteeezy - I know a lot of folks here in recovery who can relate to your story, and I am sure there are many more that thought they were alone struggling with this. Thank you for posting.

One of my closest most dear friends has been struggling with alcoholism and drinking and realizing you don’t like what is happening is a great first step. During his journey, has taken great steps forward, but it has not been perfectly linear. Sometimes he has struggled, or taken steps back. What I am trying to say is, you are moving forward through something that is very difficult, and realizing you want change is so important. So is medical attention. We can’t do that here, but what we can do is ask how you would like to be supported. We love and care about you, your journey matters to us. We all want your success in regaining your independence from alcohol and we believe in you! It may not be hard, but you do not have to do it alone.

Thank you all so much for the support. Although I didn’t reply at the time, I read each and every one of your responses and they really helped. Through your support I found the strength to reach out to my Dad the next night in my drunken stupor.

The next day (june 5) he reached out to a friend who is a nurse who then connected me with a counselor at her hospital who laid out a few options for me. I can’t afford to go to a 30+ day rehab so we decided the next best thing was to go to detox at her hospital. I checked myself into the hospital that afternoon And was in the psych ward that evening

I spent the next 4 days there taking medication to get me through the withdrawals. I have now been sober for 1 week and I couldn’t be happier


That’s so awesome @Stevesteeezy - thank you for sharing all this. I didn’t reply earlier on your post, but I wanted to react to your updates. I am absolutely amazed by your strength and I hope you are really proud of the steps you are taking for your health. You inspire me. And it’s so good to see that your dad is helping you through this. You’re doing great. :hrtlovefist: