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I wish people would stop criticizing my weight


#1

it seems like no matter what I do to try to gain weight, nothing ever works. Ever since I was young, I’ve had trouble and have received comments on how skinny I was/am. I can’t really help it, I’m just a naturally skinny person, it’s just how I was built, but that’s not good enough for others, and now it’s not good enough for me.
I dont know whats wrong with me, I don’t know why I dont gain weight easily.
My family has always commented on how I “need to eat something” and how they could “lift me like a feather”, and I’m so sick of it. I’m so sick and tired of my family and friends making jokes at my weight and saying rude things.
I’ve made a lot of friends here at college, and it’s been a while since anyone made comments about my weight, until this week. They’ve just been making small comments on how skinny I am and how I need to “get some meat on my bones”. I literally can’t help it. This is who I am. Why do people have a hard time understanding that saying those things can hurt someone’s feelings?
Every time I go home, my mom makes me weigh myself, because she feels im underweight, even though I’m not. I’m a very healthy person who eats a lot, just doesn’t gain much.
I dont know if I’m just taking it too seriously or something, but it really does hurt my feelings and I wish everyone would just leave my weight alone.


#2

I sort of understand.(I’m opposite. I am pretty big) I work hard on losing weight and it yo-yos or hits plateaus all the time. I’ve people that know that I’m trying to lose weight and when I gain a pound. They act like I haven’t even tried.

(I boycotted my favorite foods taking on a diet I can barely live on. I mean no pasta or bread most of your life? Who lives that way? (I do.) I barely eat pizza or burritos. Who willingly abstains from foods they love? Who? So it upsets me so much when people disregards all the work I do.)

I know a gorgeous woman that is very small. She is perfectly porportioned as a human. She is what the ideal woman is only her genes decided she should be only 5 foot tall. So she is small like a 14 year old kid but fully grown like an adult should be. Just small.

Everyone tells her about how she needs to gain weight & she tried. Our culture has made it so either being small or big isn’t acceptable even if you’re 100% what you should be. The woman I’m talking about is smaller than the average person. Yet if she would lose weight or gain weight she’d be unhealthy. This has affected her mindset as well. She tells herself that she needs to gain weight, but I explained to her the whole time that these people are wrong. She is perfect, perfectly proportioned and to gain weight (or lose weight) would make her well being unhealthy.

There is a science that determines a person is unhealthy or not. (Now I am not healthy which is why I am trying to lose weight.)


#3

Hi nicole,
I know it can be so hard and frustrating to hear those kinds of comments! But you are good enough just the way you are. Be honest with the people who tell you these things. Tell them, it hurts when they say things like that. Don’t be afraid to tell them.
Another things is that we are not defined by how we look or what we weigh. We have each been made differently. Unique in our own way. And that is good. There is nothing wrong with that. Yes, stay healthy, but if something (body wise) is out of your control, that’s okay. You are fine and enough just the way you are.
This song helped me a lot <3 hope it helps you too!


#4

Yeah, Nicole, from your last post, it also feels like a lot of other things you do or don’t do gets criticized too…it feels like you’re at a place where you’re receiving a lot of external disapproval, and you’re just wanting to be accepted as you are. You just want for your mom and your friends to encourage you and support you where you’re at.

And I know I’m not in that list, I do want to just say – even though I don’t know you, I accept you. Everything’s okay, friend. You are enough, exactly as you are! You are worthy of love. And you’re good…you’re good :slight_smile:

I hope the criticism dies down soon, or that you learn to accept yourself in spite of all of that. Because you deserve it! :slight_smile:


#5

Hi there @nicole_kaley! ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

First of all: Thank you SO MUCH for sharing about this!! This is something I struggle with as well, and when you’ve got a thinner body type it’s…definitely difficult to open up and discuss your own body issues without having a bunch of people tear into you because heaven forbid a skinny person has issues and struggles about their body and body image.

You are definitely not taking it too seriously. Your feelings are 100% valid!
It’s definitely frustrating to get comments like, “skinny minnie”, “put some meat on your bones”, or “you need to eat a burger” (the latter is especially even more insensitive if you’re a vegetarian like myself!!).

Your body is perfect JUST the way it is. Like you said: It’s the way you were built. And as long as you’re healthy and taking good care of it there’s nothing wrong with having a naturally skinny body type.

Your body is NO ONE else’s business or property and they have no right to ever speak about it - whether ill or in a positive manner. It’s yours and yours alone to discuss unless YOU give someone permission to talk to you about it. And people need to learn to respect your boundaries that you’ve set (which I know can be difficult to do with parental figures).

Next time your friends make a comment about your body: shut it down and tell them, “my body isn’t yours to discuss. NEXT.” And if they continue to disrespect your boundaries, it may be time to find a new group of friends who will respect you and the boundaries you’ve set in regards to your body.

Thank you so much again for sharing about this! :sparkling_heart::sparkling_heart::sparkling_heart:

-Deer


#6

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


#7

Hi Nicole, thanks for sharing.

I’ve had similar issues in the past and learned that it’s the entire situation that doesn’t help you gain weight. I’ve been skinny my entire life, and even if I gained over 10kg of muscle. people still can’t see my progress. Truth is, being underweight is an issue, and if you are you should look for a good dietitian to help you. Eating more won’t help you - eating well will.

I personally enjoy Freeletics: it helped me gain weight and have fun at the same time, check it out as it’s very good.

Love you

Pioggia :sunflower:


#8

Nicole,

Ive struggled with this for a little while. I think it is important to know that youre perfect the way that YOU are.


#9

thanks so much :heart:
I’ll definitely think about the points you made and put them into perspective!
I’ll also keep you in the loop about everything.
Thank you for caring and also thanks so much to this whole community for loving me so much. I’m very grateful for all of you : )


#10

@nicole_kaley Here is our video response from our live stream: