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I would appreciate advice

To be honest I really don’t want to bore anyone with my back story so I’ll just get to the point. I really really hate myself. I’m basically not able to look in the mirror without being disgusted. I’m constantly depressed and stressed and crying and everytime something bad happens I just blame it on myself. I’m insecure and I feel that I don’t deserve love and happiness. I’m having problems eating properly, I’ve been dehydrated twice now and I have had multiple deficiencies because I just forget or don’t care enough to take care of myself.
I’ve been trying hard to be more positive and maybe one day accept myself but as soon as the tiniest thing happens I beat myself up again. I am since recently in an amazing relationship and I feel like all my negativity is going to ruin it.

I would really appreciate some constructive ideas or tips on how to help me gain confidence and respect for myself and maybe even help me have more happiness in life.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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@Aurora

I’m sorry you are dealing self-hatred. I’d been there. It took me awhile to love myself. It takes practice, discipline, patience, and humility. What are your hobbies? What are your personality traits? You have amazing things in your life you do appreciate. What I can advise you is take it easy on yourself. It takes time to love yourself. To start, remind yourself you are loved by this community and God. You are an amazing creation who has amazing gifts to make an impact on others. You just have to believe in yourself. If you want to vent more, this forum is open. I hope you are a having a peaceful night. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.

So this is advice I’ve given to a lot of people and I’ll keep giving it because I believe in the power.
I met this person who had the most confidence dripping off himself. I asked “How? How do you have this much confidence?” And he told me that every time he looked in the mirror, he’d fingerguns at himself and do a little winky.
It’s something silly, but it makes you smile a little because of it.

Also try to give yourself a little credit for the little things in life. You got out of bed? Congratulations! You brushed your teeth? Congratulations!..

I hope this will help you a little

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Confidence and self love is a big “fake it until you make it” thing. I would recommend doing your best to look for positives and the things you like about yourself (or if you can’t find anything ask your partner what they like about you ^-^ but I don’t recommend basing it all on your partner).

If you have things you really don’t like, change them. Haircut and hair dye, nail polish, color contacts etc. Have certain things in your appearance that are things you actively wanted for yourself and got so you can use them as a reminder like “oh hey my hair is still purple; that’s rad!” And then you can wander around with the knowledge that even if everything else is whatever at least you have that one thing that you like. Then keep adding to it.

Also! Buy clothes that fit you! I can link you a fitting guide if you’re interested but clothes that fit and things you feel comfortable in as well as ones that you like wearing.

I hope it helps and if there is anything you want clarified, please lmk and I’ll get back to you :slight_smile: