Ideation (TW for lots of stuff i guess)

So my mental health was pretty good a few weeks ago but now it’s just totally plummeted. If you see some on my past posts I guess it’ll paint the picture better for you than I can tell here in one sitting. I hate myself so much. I hate my weight, I hate how I look, I hate the sex I was born, I hate that everyone in my life has gone on to do great things and I’m stuck inside because of agoraphobia and general anxiety. I’m like 18 stone, a new development for myself, when I used to be extremely skinny in the past. I just want to look like that again but no matter what I do I just can’t. And my mum is just obsessed with my weight for whatever reason but never helps me lose it. Part of me wants to continue eating ridiculous things until it clogs my arteries and I just keel over. I see no point in my life anymore. This is rock-bottom.


sorry your going through this, in my times were I felt like this… I’ve needed to just focus on 1 thing that makes me feel better… usually involves clothes that I look good in… i am what I wear ahahaha


Hey Deville, I’m sorry to see you are struggling again. I know that sometimes it can be hard to look at yourself and find things that you like, appreciate, or feel good about, but just know that most other people would easily be able to look at you and tell you a list of your positives.

You have value, no matter how you look, what your sex is, or what you are struggling with currently.

It is 100% normal to want to feel like you belong somewhere, and to be loved and accepted for who you are, but I think it’s most important to find that peace within yourself. Can you think of any strengths you have? What is something you are good at?

You are deserving of compassion, and you need to realize that you need to also have compassion toward yourself. Think about how you would treat a friend or a loved one who is in your situation. What would you tell them?

I know it’s hard, but do your best to focus on the present moment and look at ways you can forgive yourself for any shortcomings that you see within yourself or mistakes you’ve made in the past, and then do your best to work on self-acceptance and self-love.

I hope things look up for you soon.


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