(Sorry for bad grammar) So today we had a history midterm and my friend has the same history class as m, except they’re the period before me. I guess I’ll just say the exam was on like ancient civilizations and religions, but overall it was pretty was because our teacher went over some of the answers on the test the day before. So, it’s the period after history (I’m in math and my friend is in science) and my friend messages me asking what I got on the exam. I say that I got an 86% (52/60) and then say what about you? After that, they message back saying St and stuff like I’m not going to make it in life, it’s going down, and I didn’t know what to say so I just kept saying oof and then they say Yes ray that fg helps a lot, and I just didn’t know what to say to that. So I say well idk how I’m supposed to help you, but in my mind I know I probably should’ve just said to them that it’s okay and you’ll be fine as long as you keep an A or B for your semester grade (friends parents are Asian and they really strict on grades) but I didn’t. So then they said, ofc you don’t, you’re ray and that kinda hurt idk. Then I said, well if I say that sucks then you’ll just slap me, and then my friend said well even if you didn’t I’m still going to slap the s**t outta you. Idk so I just sent her a few anime memes like that said sorry on them and she just never responded and idk what to do. I talked to my other close friend ( We kinda have a small friend group that consists of me, the friend who I’ve been talking about, and now my other friend), and she said that she got the same kinda imma fail in life messages, but with those ones (Imma start saying friend A = friend who’s mad and friend B = friend who’s with me) friend B got ones saying Imma jump off a bridge and like suicidal stuff. Friend B actually wrote like a few paragraphs about why A shouldn’t do that and that the grade is fine (we don’t actually know the grade Friend A got). But I guess Friend A got triggered or something and started like saying hateful things towards friend b (I don’t know all the details), but that was at 11:30ish am, and now it’s 10:08 pm over here so :\ I’ll try and see if friend A is in a better mood tommorow so maybe we can talk, but they’ll probably just ignore me. *I edited this is, but I guess even if I said it’s gonna be okay, friend A probably would’ve done the same thing to me they did to friend B :*
Hey @raythelime,
Thank you so much for taking the time to share this here. No worries for the grammar, it’s totally okay!
What I’m about to say is only a personal perspective - so take it as it is. 
First, it’s obvious that your friend is hurting. As you said, this grade probably triggered something, but it’s not necessarily about grades. They reached out to you and your other friend, they’re probably trying to receive some support but are not really sure what or how to ask for it. It’s a good thing tho. It shows that they trust you, which is precious.
I personally don’t think your friend is mad at you personally. They’re hurting. And when we feel very vulnerable, we can be on edge. It’s a bit paradoxal, but when someone’s reaching out while feeling suicidal, they can be both willing to receive help and to refuse it. I’ve been in this position, but also in the one who’s receiving the emotional storm of someone who’s struggling. And I know it can be tough to receive that when you don’t expect it. I had friends who were deeply struggling, reaching out, and started to lash out on me. In these moments, it can be difficult to find the right balance between being fair to them and to yourself. There is both a need for love and accountability. Because even when someone you love is struggling, you also need respect.
Sure, your answer could have been different, and there’s a high probability that they expected to hear something different from you. Though when you realized that something was wrong, you were also honest and said that you don’t really know how to help or what to say - which is okay, and actually a mark of respect to your friend. What’s going on in their head is not your fault, and it’s possible that they’re expecting you to help them. Now the question is: do you feel okay to support them? There’s no right or wrong answer. Regarding the situation right now, helping your friend might be to encourage them to talk about it to an adult - for example, a counselor at school, a family member, a trusted teacher, or even a therapist if possible. To let them know that they don’t have to be silent about this or to hide. Also that you are a friend, but there’s also people out there who are equipped to help them the best way possible. If you want, you can even encourage them to come here on the Support Wall and create a post, so they can be welcomed with love and support.
I hope that it will be possible for both of you to have a more peaceful discussion and see how you can move on together. I see that you are genuinely caring for them. You’re a good friend. Despite the difficult words they had with you. It’s more likely to be about the pain they were feeling, also maybe a feeling of being misunderstood at the moment, than the reflection of what they think about you.
Take care.
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