If I Could Be That

My wife left me after my suicidal thoughts broke her.

My heart and insides burn and scream at me to fight, fight, fight. She loved me once and we built a beautiful life together.

My head tells me she is no longer in love with me and has begun moving on. And that it is time to come to terms with that and move on myself.

The turmoil is real. The what ifs live
on the edge of my mind all the time.

Sometimes I’m ok. More often I wake up looking for her; needing her touch.

I try the old songs, but most don’t work like they used to. I’m not the same person I was the last time I needed them.

I miss her as my friend most of all. Always there to comfort and soothe.
I have a hard time doing it without her. She’s been by my side longer than she hasn’t. This new world is terrifying.



I’m really sorry that you’re going through this loss. It is a process, very much like grieving so it’s important that you get support around this, and to try to be as self nurturing as possible. This is a vulnerable time for you, so reach out as much as you need to keep yourself grounded. With such emotional turmoil going on inside you, it’s so important to give yourself good care. Blame is not helpful, especially if you’re blaming yourself, it won’t be helpful at this time. Peace

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I would try to contact her and tell her that I still wanted to be her friend.

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