Turned 18 last week, i got a really nice girl, i really shouldn’t be complaining, but I dont think ive ever felt more alone in my life. No one gave a shit about my day of turning, and this girl is flat out ignoring me now. Ive read texts over and over and played memories over and and over and i cant figure out what i did wrong. Shes never like this. Every day seems like a math project your forced to do with other people who are terrible at math. Maybe im just an edgy teen reaching out for assurance, who can’t get his mind in order, who cant even wash face at night. I often think how much pleasure it brings to me when i think about ending it. Ive never told anyone i think about ending it. That was really hard to type, not going to lie. I dont think i will ever have the balls to do it but i think about it. I look at my parents and i see the emptiness in their eyes. Ive tried telling them that im not happy at all and they give a speech about how they’ve felt that way when they were 18 and still feel that. Does that mean this feeling doesnt end? I know life is suffering but at what cost? So you can be seen as honorable? So people can tell others how great you were? Ive come from nothing and ill die nothing. I dont know anymore, this post is probably just seen by people who thinks some basic teen going through this dark depressed stage in life cause things are changing for him. Ive said things to myself that i would never tell my enemies. I dont think ill ever end it so don’t worry, but the thought is comforting. To never feel bad again, and forever sleep. I really do like my sleep.
Hey there, friend. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling alone- I know what that feels like, and it can be really scary at times. It must’ve been so heartbreaking too, that nobody seemed to make an effort to celebrate your birthday. Your 18th birthday really is one of the most important birthdays, so I totally understand how that would’ve made you feel. I want you to know, though, that I, and so many others here really care! You deserve so much more for your birthday, I promise you.
About what you said concerning your girlfriend, I think I understand what’s going on. I’ve had things like this happen to me before, with friends not talking to me for such a long time. You know what I later found out, though? They were just really struggling and didn’t have the energy to keep up their relationships. So I feel like your partner might be going through a hard time here too, and that would be why she hasn’t been responding to you. She just doesn’t have the energy right now. If this is the case, then you need to decide whether to give her space during this time, or push her to talk to you so that you can be there for her. She knows what she wants and needs though, so don’t try to force the situation too much. Just hang in there <3
I love you so much, I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through all this. I’m currently still healing after a really dark year, so I completely understand all that you’ve described. The feeling of, is it even worth it to keep going if every day will be a struggle? Is this all that life is meant to be?
The truth is, friend, you were made for so much more than all of this. You’re going through this because you are special, and you are chosen, to live more than the average life. You are struggling because you want more to life, and that is what’s coming, friend. This is just the desert season. It’s quiet, it’s dry, it’s not enough. It’s such a fight, but there is a reason why you keep fighting. You have been put in this season so that you can see more clearly. You will discover who you are, why you’re here, and your purpose. Never wish this season away, because it’s such a beautiful thing. When you come out of it, you’ll be a whole new, amazing, loving, person.
You matter more than you could ever know. You’re worth more than you could ever count. You’re loved more than you could ever imagine. Hang onto these truths, because they will comfort you in this season. You got this, friend. You were made to thrive, not just survive. So keep going, and see all that this life has for you. Because there is so much.