I'm 20 and I don't know what to do in life

Aside from playing games and music, I’m starting to really question myself now…Ever since this whole pandemic started…I’m starting to feel lonely and ever…my friends are all busy in uni… and my sister is thinking of moving out. I’m upgrading some courses of course to get into uni but I feel like I lack of doing social interaction. Most of the time I get social anxiety… I don’t have a job… but I’m trying to get a part time job…none haven’t replied yet.it’s really hard for me to figure out what kind of career or what my future be like… and that’s the one thing I’m nervous about it. I mean…this is really the starting point of me being an adulthood… I just feel overwhelmed…


Hi Jake! I think it’s perfectly acceptable to be 20 and not know where your heading. Keep growing, trying new things and learning… things will fall into place.


Hey @Jake_11534,

Thank you so much for taking the time to share all of this. This pandemic has affected all of us in so many different ways that it’s just good to sit down sometimes and share how we feel. And how you feel makes sense, Jake. There’s a lot going on in your life right now and you’re going through a time of transition between school and the “adult life”. I remember that time (and still, somehow) being very scary for me too. It felt like I had to be sure about what I was going to do in my life and that’s what this society expected of me. A little bit like following a straight path with a precise direction to aim for, for the rest of my life… quite stressful indeed! As an anxious person, I asked myself so many “what if?”. “What if I make the wrong choice?”, “What if I realize later that I don’t like what I do?”, “What if I do something that’s not meaningful?”, “What if I never find a job, or just a job that wouldn’t give me the energy to keep doing it everyday?”.

Being nervous about your future and your career is absolutely normal, friend. Although how life happens in reality is generally different from what we envisioned at first. There are many paths and opportunities that happen all the time and we can’t imagine them yet when we’re about to cross the starting line. In other words, your goals will guide you, but your life will also be made of many many experiences that will make you grow and adjust your own projects. We can’t figure everything out at the beginning. There’s also a need for some action, for some experiences to happen, so we can re-evaluate our first choices too. The decisions you’ll make now will be important, but they’ll never condition you 100%. You’ll keep your own capacity to decide and adjust your decisions, with time, just because life - and careers - are generally not a straight line.

Right now, if your anxiety is giving you a hard time, what you can focus on is just going to bed at the end of the day and knowing that you did what you could. Focus on what you can do, and try to ground your thoughts on what’s your power, first and foremost. Just because when it comes to our future or even finding a job, there’s a lot of parameters that are beyond our control.

Right now, it seems that you are doing a lot! Upgrading those courses, looking after a job… that’s wonderful! But those tasks can be pretty overwhelming too. It’s okay to acknowledge your efforts, to give yourself some grace and credit for all the things you’re doing, because that’s objectively a lot (hell, even more in the midst of a pandemic!). The “what if “ questions will remain, just because as human beings our life is full of uncertainties. But you are doing what you can given the circumstances, and that’s what matters the most right now. You can be proud of yourself, friend. Now, all of this is a process in itself, so one day at a time, okay?

If you feel alone these days, I’d like to encourage you to join the rest of the community during the live streams on Twitch as well! twitch.tv/heartsupport (weekly schedule: https://heartsupport.simvoly.com/). It may not be the same as having someone there physically, but it’s still a real time spent with real people who genuinely care about each other. Just another way to create some connection and to socialize during a time when we have to compose with social distancing. In any case, it would be awesome to see you there! Just because you’re not alone, and you are among friends right here. :hrtlegolove:

Take care, friend. Don’t hesitate to take some “me time” today. When we feel overwhelmed, it’s also the sign that we need to treat ourselves with as much patience, compassion and grace we need. This life can be tough at times, but so are you. :heart:


Hey Jake_11534,

The HeartSupport Houston Team responded to your post. Watch the response here. Hold Fast friend, and lean on our community.

  • HS Houston

Hey Jake, I was in your shoes when I was 20 years old and to be honest I’m still in your shoes!(: The great thing about music is that there are SO MANY careers that can come out of it from the performance end, to the business end, to the engineering end, to multiple other endeavors. I believe at the end of the day, everyone is created uniquely and wonderfully, and is created for a unique and wonderful purpose. Pursue your passions and take the leaps of faith. You’re GOING to find a job and you’re going to find a career you love. Keep going! You’re in my thoughts and prayers!

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