Im 44 struggling husband failed father this song a

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I’m 44. Struggling husband. Failed father. This song always stops me in my tracks. Even as a kid I always feel ITS my fault. No matter what IT is. Sometimes there is no IT. This song expresses the pain, and the inherited cloud that follows always on sunny days.

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the struggles are real, I’m about ten years ahead of you. Stay strong…

Hi @HeartSupport_Fans,

Nobody expects to be the a perfect father & husband. Don’t be so hard on yourself. The more negativity that you will bring to yourself, you are going to feel way much worse than before. People fail and make mistakes that’s is what make us humans. For how many times that you fail, you will always get better. Many people misinterpret as fail as losing but it’s not. You are never going to be positive & upbeat every single day. Each day will comes with a difficult challenge and you can do is push it through the best that you can. I believed you can fight tough obstacle in your life. Don’t you ever give up. I will be here to support you.

Yes, it is so painful to feel like no matter how much or how hard you try, there is always something in the back of your mind making you feel like you are a failure. That somehow you would be to broken, too inadequate, too worthless to have the possibility to feel proud of see the good in you. This narrative can be stuck for so long in your mind that it becomes your normality. It turns into something both familiar and hated at the same time.

I’m personally right there with you on this struggle bus. 31, and it’s still hard to feel like I’m not guilty of all the things that are not functioning in this world. It’s like wearing glasses at some point that adds different colors to your your life and to yourself. It makes you see things a certain way, and you feel it so much at your core that it’s hard to rationalize those thoughts. Whenever I would see failure in my life, I would attribute it to myself, my identity and my value, which is so hurtful.

As you described so well, it’s like having inherited of a narrative that you keep carrying on with you even during the good times and keeps clouding your perception. You want to enjoy the good things in your life, but there is this thing that filters your view and make you see the glass half empty, making you feel like you are worthless and you just don’t belong. I’m sorry friend that this narrative has been a significant part of your own life. It is the kind of battle that remains unseen to most, and I think it takes a lot of courage to speak up about it, to let others SEE how it is behind the curtain. Right here, you allow yourself to be vulnerable, to be authentic, and to be LOVED in the midst of what feels like utter brokenness to you. If anything, I can assure you that your pain does not define you, and the knowledge that there is more is something that can be worth holding on to, even if it’s hard to see beyond the mountains of doubts, fears and feelings of guilt.

You are enough just as you are, and we are blessed by your presence. :heart: