I dont want to be a bad person… but i just naturally am. i hurt people i love unintentionally, and then when someone calls me out on it i freak out.i keep thinking im the victim when i am not. i dont want to be like this. i want to change for the better. i dont want to hurt my friends. i dont want to hate people. i want to be better, but im starting to think i should give up on being a good person. i want the people who i love to feel loved when i am with them… not hurt or judged or like i dont care about them.
i made my friends hate me and think i am a bad person. well they arnt my friends anymore… i acted like the victim when i wasnt and now they dont want anything to do with me. i didnt know what i was doing then… i now know how much of an ass i was being. i hate myself for it. i grive so often because i know i will never get them back. i take that grief and turn it into hatred.
then i sometimes be a jerk on porpose to them because of that.
i hate for it to sound as tho i dont have self control, but i dont think about what i am doing before i act. im naturally a bad person and i know that. i cant change.