Back to heartsupport

I'm a loser

So my problem is myself. I know I’m a good person but I always say something wrong. I always end up hurting people and I don’t know what I’m doing is wrong. I never had a good role model. My household is filled with negative people so im used to it. Im rude sometimes without knowing it or say something that hurts someone. I don’t know how to stop or why I keep on messing up. There is something good in my life that makes me happy but I ruin that happiness with one wrong word. I feel terrible for being like this I just want to be nice. It’s so hard because I criticise people so much without wanting to and complain. I don’t like doing those things but I still do it. I just want to become a better person. I’ve been trying so hard for years but I feel like I’m not making progress. I just want to not hurt the person I love. It seems like I do that everyday. That person knows I don’t do it on purpose but I still can’t help but feel terrible. We had a small argument about it because that person wants me to see that I’m a good person but it’s hard not to hate yourself for always ruining everything. I also have social anxiety so I’m not good with talking to people. I don’t have a lot of social experience. I don’t know if that’s a reason why. I don’t like blaming this on something or others because I know it’s my fault I just don’t know how to fix it. I hope this makes sense and if someone can help me.

1 Like

Hi friend. You are not a loser.

I have spent a lot of my days feel like this. And you know what I realized? You say that your house hold is full of negative people. I realized 3 years ago when I was feeling exactly as you are right now, that my environment was so much of the reason I felt the way I did. Other people’s negativity and toxicity was dragging me down and it was causing me to be not only unhappy but to be someone I didn’t like. It was all rubbing off on me and spiraling.

Sometimes it feels difficult to be better and improve when your environment around you feels so negative. I certainly can understand that. It can be hard not to be so stressed and overwhelmed that you end up snapping or saying things you regret later.

We can only control ourselves and not others. So just focus on you. Focus on what you need and what you need to do to improve and be the person you want to be. Work on your own goals and self growth. And listen to those who love you when they tell you that you aren’t a bad person. Let them love and support you. Let them be your strength. Let them help you through what you are feeling and going through right now.

I understand social anxiety. I struggle with it too. I get it. My sweet friend, I hope that things get better for you. That the negativity around you finds peace and resolve. I hope that you are able to focus on your happiness and growth and not let the negative of others hold you back. I know it’s hard.

You don’t have to go at it alone. Someone cares.

  • Kitty
1 Like

@AyeIneedHelp I think that if you are being honest, you are never saying the wrong thing. I also do not think that you should be so hard on yourself. I think that you should try to focus on those things that make you happy and it will help you to be more positive. Also, you have already started to work on the problems that you want to. You started when you made the decision to come here to talk to people. You are doing great and you are a good person.