Im a total mess from this!

Let’s get to the point here with my situation. I worked at a place for 10 years and made alot of mistakes but was never fired so i got lucky. The mistakes that I made were thrown in my face multiple times by people until I was scared to death to make a mistake and I felt like a failure. I got a chance to leave that place for a better job. I told my self I wasn’t gonna repeat mistakes from the past. I double checked everything. For 3 years things went smooth. I wasn’t know to be a fuck up. Co workers had faith in me to do a good job. I felt amazing for once in my life and I felt normal. I recently changed to a different department in the company to make more money. Things were going good then i ran into a old co worker from my old department and asked him how the new guy is and stuff and then he told me something I built failed. He is a grumpy old man so the way he said it made it seem real serious. My heart dropped and the biggest fear came true. I was sick to my stomach. I started texting old friends from my old department and they said to not worry about it and I should be ok. For a week I was sick. Constantly asking people from my old department if everything was still cool and they said to not worry about. So here I am 2 weeks out from getting told about my mistake and I’m still a mess. I’m not eating as much and I’m scared something I built will fail again. Iduno what to do with myself. I don’t wanna go through what happened at my last job. I don’t wanna be know as a fuck up. I don’t know what to do at this point. I’m a mess. I suffer from anxiety and depression so that’s not helping. I’m tired of waiting for a bad text saying something else failed. Does anyone have any advice for me to move on from this?

Hi @WaitingOne,

Thanks for sharing!

We exchange a little bit previously about those mistakes you’re talking about. It seems like you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself. The fact that you’re so worried about making mistakes shows how much you want to do things right. It’s a real quality. But this must not end up making you sick. It’s not worth it. If your co-workers told you you don’t have to worry, maybe it would be worthwhile to try to believe them. I don’t think they would tell you that just to be nice.

What happened to you in your previous job is something that seems to have still a lot of impact on you and it’s making you anxious. But you are no longer in this job, you are no longer in the past and the situation today is different. Try to eat something, do something that makes you feel good and drive those thoughts away. To torture yourself like that will not change anything. Also, it may be interesting for you to consider therapy in order to work on this anxiety. And if you’re already having therapy, maybe try to write down your present thoughts so you can talk about this situation during your next appointment. You don’t have to carry it alone, and you can learn to live with it or to go over it if you are surrounded by people who will have the tools to help you.

Take care.

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Hey @WaitingOne! I’m glad you shared this.

From your post it looks like you’ve spent the past three years learning from mistakes and working to build a great work-ethic, and that is great! It’s not easy at all to do that, especially after struggling for a long time.

It might feel like that one mistake is a sign of an impending snowball effect, but it’s not. Remember the facts: It’s been two weeks and nothing has happened, nothing has broken and nobody is throwing it in your face. Your friends are saying it’s all okay. Things aren’t going back to the way they were at your old job, you’re out of that situation.

You’ve done so well, all you have to do is keep on going as you were. Every single person you will ever meet has made mistakes, and they all deserve to be forgiven. For the most part it’s no big deal, we live and we learn :slightly_smiling_face:

I think that @Micro offered some good advice. Therapy can be a silver bullet when it comes to acknowledging and working forward with beliefs about yourself. If you’re not already speaking to someone professionally, there’s not much to lose and it could be really great for you!

I hope that was helpful. Thank you again for sharing!