I want to be better. I’ve been trying to be better. I try not to be so angry at everything but I just can’t. As much as I try, everything makes me angry and I end up taking it out on the wrong people and hurting them.
Soon after all of the anger it just turns into self loathing and I feel inferior to every other mass of matter on the planet. I know I am, too. I would love to be a happy person, but if I acted happy it would just be a mask. And I would rather show my true emotions than just put on a mask every time someone asks me how I am, as rare as it is.
I just want to be better for the people that somehow put up with me. I need professional help but I refuse to see a therapist, not that my family can afford it. I mentioned earlier that I would rather show my true emotions. And I meant it. But I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t want to make my friends unhappy.
Somebody please help me be a better person.