Next week on Wednesday, I will be going to see a therapist for the first time for my mood swings, and my sleeping problem. I’m really scared and I just feel like I’m going to lose control before then, I hope that makes sense I’m sorry if it doesn’t. Lately I’ve been having this urge to cry and just hurt myself or scream out in frustration, I’ve been trying my best to hold it together but it’s hard and I don’t know what to do.
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Hey there Lillian,
I first want to congratulate you on your first therapy session scheduled! I hope this is the beginning of a wonderful relationship between you and your therapist, and many productive sessions in the future!
In the mean time, take care of yourself, and do whatever you can to try to make it to Wednesday. If you have to scream out in frustration, do so, it can be very cathartic! I would of course recommend against hurting yourself as that’s a very dangerous path to go down, but finding and establishing healthy relaxation and coping mechanisms is really important, and this is something I’m sure you’ll do with your therapist 
Maybe make a list of things you know that make you feel safe, soft blankets, your bedroom, a nice movie, a warm drink, whatever it may be! Once you’ve got that list, do your best to make yourself a small slice of heaven that you can relax in when you’re feeling afraid.
In these moments, seek support from those close to you, parents, siblings, friends, or us on the Support Wall We’ll keep cheering you on!
Best of luck friend, you’ve got this!
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Heya Lillian!
First of all, Thank you for writing and welcome to the community!
It is absolutely normal to be nervous about going to a therapist, Know that ultimately the therapist is there to HELP you.
I encourage you that if you feel the need to cry than do it, scream out in frustration if you have to. You don’t need to hold it together, because once we fall, that’s when we realize that we truly need help.
If you feel like you are going to Self Harm, do these steps for me to make sure you stay safe.
I hope your therapy appointment goes well!
With Love
Duck
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@Lillian25 thank you so much for posting to the wall and sharing with us. This is really brave of you and I am proud of you, friend. I am also proud you are going to see a therapist for the first time! Heck yes! That is so truly amazing! I’ve been to therapy and absolutely loved it and I hope it can help you too. Just know when you go to therapy if you don’t feel like you click or vibe with your therapist after a couple of sessions, don’t be afraid to ask for a new one. It is completely okay to do that. I have no doubt in my mind that having the help from therapy you will be able to get navigate your mood swings and sleeping problems. They will give you the tools to be a stronger you. It’s okay to cry and scream to let it out but make sure you’re doing it in a healthy way. As for feeling an urge to hurt yourself, please don’t, you are important. I have some tips to help you while you are waiting to go to your therapy appointment.
“Emotions can be really painful sometimes. It’s totally normal to need ways to cope with and process the hard things in your life. If you are using self-harm to manage your emotions, we’re here for you. And, we want to help keep you safe.” - Crisistextline.org
This article has some really good ways to push through, process, and cope with your emotions. First they list to text a hotline - Text HOME to 741741. Get creative - if you feel like self harming make some cool art. Grab a marker and go to town, I even know of some people who use a marker to draw on their arms instead of hurting themselves. Find your zen - there are plenty of apps out there to help you do this or just take a few minutes to sit in quiet, drink some tea and listen to the sounds around you. Last but not least, speak with a professional - which you are doing next Wednesday! So I think you got that one covered and I am so proud of you! Good luck and I absolutely know you got this.
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WOHOO! Therapy is great imo. But I totally understand- seeing a new therapist or going to therapy for the first time is hard and can be scary!
Thanks for writing out your feelings! I hope it helped some. I find writing/journaling to be very cathartic. A lot of people suggest doing artsy things in general as a safe, healthy outlet. Feel free to cry and scream (maybe into a pillow…) because it will actually help relieve some of your stress/anxiety. If it helps, here is a big masterlist of self care ideas that you can do in the meantime, or just in general! Hopefully something there helps 
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Hey,Fam
Congrats on your first therapy session scheduled! your feelings 100% valid you have the right to feel how you do,sometimes just screaming into a pillow or outside helps Still Wednesday you could write down how you feel into a journal,draw how you feel into a drawing even a poem or song Honestly look how far you have come your getting therpists and posting a wall post that you need to help better yourself and gain recources you needed to grow and overcome this dark time later on in life your going thank yourself for doing this for yourself
There AWESOME articles that some our friends posted I would 100% recommention looking at many of those articles has helped me though hard times STAY STRONG BUDDY
-E
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