I’m really shy and awkward, I don’t know how to start any conversations. Anyone know a way to be less shy and awkward?
Hi friend, I’m shy and awkward to. As an autistic socializing and small talk has never been my thing. Hah. I have yet to master it, but I try my best anyway. Sometimes just asking questions about someone else helps me. How are you? How is your family? Did you watch x movie? What did you think of the Oscar results? I don’t know. Really anything that isn’t too personal. I try not to ask people about their jobs or if they plan to have kids unless they offer it. I stick to more casual convos and sometimes it leads to more natural convos. Showing interest in other people often makes them feel good. So it’s a nice place to start.
Socializing can be tough so it’s good to just take a deep breath and know it’ll be fine. I often forget this and then my anxiety takes over. I’ll ramble or talk fast. Meditation before socializing can be really helpful in clearing the mind. (:
But, remember. Be you. It’s okay if you’re awkward. Don’t edit yourself. Better to be awkward and true to you, and loved for being yourself than to edit yourself to how you feel others want you to be and be loved for something that you’re not.
Thanks for the advice! Have a great week!
I always think ahead of time about something I can ask or say when I know I’m going to be around people. Like : Just finished season 2 of some show - have you seen it ? Or even just something like I need a vacation- can’t remember the last time I went somewhere- you been anywhere good? If I don’t have something planned to say, sometimes I freeze up and just can’t think of a single thing.
And if you are like me, you are probably not the best judge about yourself being awkward. I think we always are so much worse in our heads than we really are.
And humor can sometimes work. Sometimes just saying “awkward silence” can make someone laugh and relax the situation.
It’s okay to be an introvert, shy, and awkward. I’m like that too. What helped me is doing things I love, and going to events that has the things I love, and I socialize with other people who loves the same things as me. What are your hobbies? What food you like to eat? What kind of music you listen to? Do you workout? These questions might not be exciting, but they are an example of how to start or continue a conversation. Also, take it easy on yourself. You have an unique personality. You will have friends who will love you for whom you are. You are created by God, and He loves you. This community loves you. You are loved. If you want to share more, this forum is open for you. I hope you are having a great day. Thank you for asking. God be with you.
It’s okay to be shy. But it doesn’t make you ankward. I’m super shy too, and very anxious when it’s about social interactions. Most of the time I give a bad impression to those who meet me for the first time. x) Having different jobs is certainly what helped me the most to work on this, as responsabilities tend to help me to go out of my comfort zone.
Starting conversations can be quite tricky, as it depends on the person you’re talking to, the overall context of the situation. I agree entirely with @nameredacted about humor, it is such a powerful toolfor social interactions! It definitely helped me a lot, and it also helps the person you’re talking to, just to feel more comfortable. Most of the time, you just have to break the ice and then it gets easier.
To start a conversation, you can use your own passions, interests, what you’ve heard about recenlty, or read, or did, and try to see if others have heard about it, or what they did during their weekend… some really basic things like that. You always have all around you opportunities to comment something, to ask questions or even just smile to someone.
Just try not to think too much. Show interest to what the othen person is saying by asking questions that keep the conversation on (like to have more details about something they’re saying, you can ask what/when/why/who type of questions). You can also try to reflect on your own experiences and relate to what they’re saying, of course not with giving the impression that you’re not listening.
But more importantly keep trying, practicing. It comes more and more naturally as long as you doing it. You’ll see yourself progressing without a doubt. You have a rich inner world and a voice that needs to be heard.
Man I absolutely love these replies! You guys all rock! I am not introverted and yet I still struggle starting conversations too. What everyone has said on advice about how to start conversations is spot on.
On the aspect of not coming off as awkward, I would say that that is a part of life and the sooner you can embrace the awkwardness the more people won’t care if you are awkward. Just focus on positive self talk, cause people love authentic people who embrace who they are and are not ashamed of who they are.
I agree with this. I am awkward. And while I do try to improve on my social skills in areas, I do not try to completely change myself. My closest friends love me for who I am and all of my awkwardness. I don’t feel like I need to edit myself around them, I feel safe. And honestly, having friends and building friendships on a foundation of trust all on its own helps mellow out the awkwardness. When you feel safe in your relationships it allows for you to relax a little and you will find that naturally the awkwardness starts to die down.
I am always awkward with new people. But the best kind of people will love that and embrace that. (:
Its okay to want to improve. Just dont change yourself for others <3