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I'm asking for help


#1

Hi so I’m not the type of person to normally put myself out there especially about something as dark as depression but, I need help or something. I’m out of options and i don’t know what to do about anything because I feel like I’m in much too deep to be fixed. I’ve been aware I’ve had mental health issues since I was maybe 11? I’m 19 now and I’ve gone without any sort of help because of the way my family is, depression isn’t real in their eyes and they’ve seem my anxiety as a part of my personality I’m"timid" so I’ve hid it all from them. There’s so many things that make my heart ache everyday and as cliche as it sounds getting out up in the morning has become difficult. I couldn’t express the pain I feel waking up in this world and knowing the reality of it. i feel worthless and unloved/unwanted. I used to be a Christian a few months and i don’t even know if I believe in a God or Jesus. I know that I’m so so sick of being like this. I’m sick of feeling numb and I’m sick of anxiety attacks, reaching out to the people around me has been terrifying and honestly useless. I just want out and I want help and I’m so very tired. i really appreciate anyone who read this!!:sparkling_heart: I’m really scared to post this but, i feel like this would be a good step for me and I’m so sorry to everyone else who feels this way.


#2

Hey, thanks for sharing.

I’ve definitely felt the same way as you at times so you aren’t alone in that. Growing up my family (Namely dad) never accepted any mental illness as real so I was always afraid to reach out to people and ask for real help. Even today it’s still difficult for me but it’s much easier than it was when I was still living with my parents, so just be patient and good things will come because one day they will. Most importantly, everyone here loves you; and I love you. We all care about you and hope the best for you. Something as easy as getting out of bed can seem impossible at times, so just know that we’re all proud of you for getting up in the morning every day and for sharing your thoughts and feelings; they matter. You matter, you are loved, you are cared for. Don’t forget that. Hang in there friend.


#3

Thank you it’s a bit comforting knowing that someone else has felt this way, although I’m sorry you have. Also I’ve seen you’re comments on other post and i just wanted to tell you you’re a complete sweetheart and I wish more people were as kind as you.


#4

Well thanks! Let me know if you need anything, good luck and I hope you feel better soon


#5

@Ag07 Know you are never to deep in the sea to be saved. I saw a counselor for most of all my younger life. I am 30 now. I still struggle with certain things here and still to this day but i know that is not my identity. I have learned from prayer and just siting and reading God’s word has helped me. Now I am not saying this same way is going to help you.

I want you to remember that if you were not worth it would Christ had given up his own life? You are so worth it. Reason why we are here. Your life is so worth fighting for. Everything you feel and think matters and is worth the time to hear out.

Also it takes a lot to say we are not okay. To admit we are not doing well emotionally and even spiritually. This is the best to say hey I am not okay. Now the important part is knowing that things will get better. In time and patience. One of my favorite quotes by C.S. Lewis is “Pain leaves the opportunity for healing.” You are already on this path of healing. You are being honest and I give you MEGA HIGH FIVE BOYEAH!

Keep us updated and always remember you are so loved and are welcomed to just vent or tell us how things are going.

-Morgan


#6

Hi @Ag07, thank you so much for sharing. You are certainly not alone, and this is a good step for you to take! Being in the same situation as far as anxiety goes, I completely understand how you feel in terms of feeling empty, waking up in pain mentally and emotionally, feeling numb… all normal feelings for the kind of journey you are on. I’m sorry that your family sees anxiety and depression the way they do, but these types of struggles are still very stigmatized by many who are ignorant to the effects they can have on your overall health.

One suggestion that I would make that, if it were at all possible for you, to seek out help from some sort of professional. I know that this type of option is not accessible to everyone, but I’m sure many others here can chime in about other ways to access the help of a mental health professional or counselor. Someone very dear to me recently reminded me that “It’s totally normal to have these feelings just not ok to let them drive you crazy.” So it may be of some benefit to you to have someone to empty more of your deeper feelings out to and how to cope with these feelings day to day. Maybe they can even help put your struggles into words that your family will understand better and help them understand your struggles better.

Whatever further steps you decide to take, I hope they work out well and for the best. You are worth it, you’re not alone in this fight!


#7

Just want to say you are not alone, putting yourself out there with the depression it’s scary because you never know whos going to judge you but here we WON’T judge you. For it’s hard to tell my teacher or my parents i still have depression but yet this community knows. Your anxiety doesn’t have to deal with you being “timid” it has to deal with you being anxious and hey i’m with you , i have anxiety issues to.
When it comes to religion, believe in what you want to believe in . it may seem so hard when your family is a certain religion when you don’t know what religion your truly are. Also, dont be scared to post this because we will never judge you but we will be here to help you and everyone else.
much love @Ag07 , remember to hold fast !
-ashley


#8

Hey @Ag07
I’ve dealt with having to hide my depression, self harm and things from my family too. They are so closed minded, they believe depression is an excuse to be lazy - that it doesn’t really exists. When they found out I self harmed, it was “attention seeking” however, even with that, I’ve found a family here that understands me and loves me.
Everyday I feel like I’m too far gone. I’ll be 6 months clean from drugs on Sunday - but even now, I keep asking myself why? What’s the point? I’m so deep into my depression and self-hatred that at this point, it feels pointless… But, I also feel like I’m too far in to go back. It’s a horrible cycle and at the moment I feel stuck in the middle. I wouldn’t even be alive right now if it wasn’t for this community - let alone 6 months clean. Community is freaking essential whether you believe it or not and you 100% did the right thing coming here. Keep fighting - keep reaching out, we’re here for you.

Hold Fast
Kayla


#9

My father told me that my depression was “A lie and I was just trying to make his life harder than it is.” If I had a panic attack or anything like that I was “Just being a dramatic little kid who needs to learn when to grow up.” and if I talked to my mom about it she ignored me and told me “This will pass, it always does.” I ended up having a panic attack at school once and one of my teachers found me under the bleachers in tears and tearing my hair out. She helped me and told me I wasn’t alone
Try to find someone to talk to, even if it’s the HS family. opening up is the best first step I feel.


#10

@Ag07 Here is our video response from our live stream. Hold Fast.


#11

Dealing with depression and anxiety is bad enough. But when your family doesn’t believe how bad it is and makes it out to be nothing, as if you are a burden when they see you struggle, that is a whole another layer that is added to the already existing struggle. I know. I lived that in my high school years. It is painful when your own family, who should be there to support you, makes things worse.

But we see you. We hear you. You struggle is real and worthy of being told. You are worthy of being supported and heard.

I am so glad you’ve reached out to us here. If you are in university, is it possible to talk to a counselor there? I know when I was in university I saw a counselor for free. (I believe you get a certain amount of sessions. At least that’s how it was at my university).

You are worth so much. You are precious. Even though you aren’t sure if you even believe in Jesus anymore, He believes in you. He is with you. Even if you can’t see Him or ever believe in Him. And He wants nothing more than to be the light in your darkness. Cry out to HIm. No, your depression will probably not automatically go away. But the reality is He sees you and everything you’re going through, and is with you in it.

You aren’t alone. We are here for you. :sparkling_heart:


#12

I have to keep this short because I’m in class right now I’m still a high school student but, I just wanted to tell you guys I saw the stream last night and read all these responses and I feel very overwhelmed by all the support and kindness. I heard about heart support through August burns red and didn’t think much of it until now. I’m very very thankful i decided to reach out on here because it’s given me a peace of mind knowing that theres somewhere I can be open about things and not worry about being ignored or that my problems and thoughts are to heavy for anyone to hear. I’ve also set up an appointment with my schools coulseors today which is a first for me. I’ll be able to get back to you later on today once I’m out of school because they’re is soooo much more I want to say and again, Thank you!!