Im confused

i don’t know what to do with my life, i want to run away.im a 14 year old male, i am currently in foster care, i was removed from my moms home after years of neglect and physical and mental abuse from my mom. it was after my birthday, my mom tried to kill me with a hatchet, i ran into the woods, and the police found me nearly bled out with hypothermia. this is a very shortened version of things, however i do ot want to make this post too long, if you wold like you can ask for details.i am currently in a foster home, but i am at risk or returning to my mothers costody, i am afraid of seeing her again. every night i see her in my dreams, i can feel her. is it normal to feel in your dreams btw? i can feel her on top of me, stabbing me. i cant bear it, i know that if i see her again it will become my reality, or i might end up taking it into my own hands and die my way. i don’t want that to happen. my body is already covered in scars. i have a boyfriend that would be willing to take me in if i ran away. he knows my circumstances, and he is the only person i trust. i have thoroughly thought out everything, we’ve been dating for 2 and a half years now, and we have stuck together through thick and thin. he lives in a different state, no one would fid me, if anyone even looked. i don’t know what to do, i feel as if my mind is made of rusty cogs that do not fit together properly being held together with glitter glue and twine. if any one has advice or questions, please help. i am scared and i don’t know what else to do…

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From: Ash (Discord)

First off my friend I am so glad you shared what is going on. Family is very hard and to me it sounds like your home is unsafe. Can I ask have you spoken to your social worker or casa worker about this these two individuals should be helping to fight the battle on your behave. My family has done foster care and stuff is a rough one for many kids who come to us and I personally do not like watching as kids who have told me the horrors of what they have gone through have to go back. So I am here to battle along side you. It sounds like to me getting away from her is a key but I do not feel running away is the best option. I want to encourage you to open up to safe people like therapists, doctors, your social worker those you meet with. If you need more help on who those people are please do not hesitate to message me I am on the discord as well as the wall but my name on the wall is Disabledmetalfan I want to be sure you are safe. Hold fast

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