I’m tired. Nothing works. Not therapy. Not medication. Not a support team. I wouldn’t wish bipolar upon anyone. I can’t get anything done unless I’m manic. I don’t know if my feelings are real half the time or just impulsive and in the moment. My head is always spinning with trying to making decisions. Every week I want something new. I feel like a lost boat at sea. I can’t ever seem to get mind to calm down to focus on what I really want. I feel like I’ve been trying for years. I’m giving up. I’m not dreaming anymore. It’s hard to keep a regular job so I always hustle. At this point I just accepted I’m a bipolar loser
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to have a job in the arts. I’d like to be a choreographer, in a dance company, and learn about arts administration but I never get my head to calm down to apply myself. I don’t know to even be consistent with a regular job. I’ve even been inconsistent with where I live. I just impulsively do things.
Take power from your dreams. Recognise the unique feelings that barely occur anywhere but in dreams which connect you and refer back to what really matters to you.
Are you saying you don’t dream anymore?
Also, I totally understand how nothing would work. I know that what i’m saying won’t help you, but I need you to understant the unique feelings of dreams.
You should think about Literal dreams…
then you’ll have dreams in the other sense as well.
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