Back to heartsupport

I'm Done with living

Struggling with Schizophrenic psychosis, Having nightmares about people killing me , l also have nightmares and me killing myself, which is absolutely terrifying, I have no one that I can talk to about anything, that is bothering me, it’s very isolating, terrifying, frustrating & lonely, I just beside myself and I have no idea what to do anymore, I don’t know who I am anymore, I don’t want to be alive anymore, I’m at the point where I can’t cope with my symptoms, I just want the pain to end.

5 Likes

@Summer :hrtlegolove: hugs

What time is your therapy appointment tomorrow? You’re so close and I know you can do it.

You can write out everything in your head here, it’s safe and we are not going to judge you. It might help to get it out of your head that way and we can support you too :hrtlegolove:

1 Like

My mom canceled my Appointment. :sob::sob::sob::sob::sob:

1 Like

Hi, You definitely need to speak with a therapist. Is there anyway you can get your mom to reschedule. I am not sure how old you are but does your school have a counselor/social worker ? I would speak with them. What you are going through is so tough mentally! Everyday it must feel like your running a 1600 mentally with those thoughts. I am sorry you are going through that. There is hope at the end of the tunnel. With therapy and the right medication you can be set back on the right track mentally. Sometimes we have to trick our own mind, if that makes sense, because you deserve to live even if your thoughts are telling you other wise. You have potential and a purpose and that is the reason you are alive today ( even if you do not know what that purpose is yet a lot of us do not but we are learning and growing). If you are in school your school social worker should be able to connect with some outside resources to help with your mental health and develop coping skills

I just want to let you know, you always have someone who loves you. You might know this already but just in case you don’t, I want to let you know that you can always talk to Jesus no matter who you are and what you have done, Jesus loves you. And he can be a true mother and father to the motherless and fatherless and to those who have parents ect. He is someone who you can always confide in! God bless and Jesus loves you! Stay safe during this time. Don’t give up, don’t throw the towel in on your life or end it, God has a great purpose for your life! God has a great plan for your life and even though it doesn’t feel like it now, there is purpose in the pain. You are far from being a mistake. Do not give up on hope,you have lots of potential and I believe this situation can get better ! I hope everything starts to turn for your good soon, and all you can do is be the best you every day and pray.

Jeremiah 29:11 and God says: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

3 Likes

hi @Summer ,

thank you for sharing such vulnerable thoughts and allowing us in to support you through this rough time. i’m so sorry that you are facing these threats, both in reality and even in your dreams. there is so much weighing on your shoulders and it’s understandable that you feel all these whirlwind of emotions from it all.

i know you’ve probably heard this before but truly, there are professionals who are out there and ready to help take the weight off your shoulders with those symptoms. i don’t want you to struggle alone and i certainly don’t want you to feel like your life doesn’t have value. mental health professionals can give you the treatment plans, coping methods, etc. but i never want you to forget that you have the heartsupport community by your side as well. please know you aren’t alone and we all will be here to listen to anything you need to vent through.

summer, you will be in my thoughts as you continue on in this journey. if there is anything i can do to support you, please reach out. i look forward to connecting with you again soon and hearing how you’re doing.

love,
twix

3 Likes

Hello @Summer

I can’t possibly imagine the stress and pain you are going through with your condition. I know for me if I have anxiety or depression it is a very heavy burden some days. I know you are holding on one day at a time. I’m so sorry your appointment was cancelled. Is there a way you can reach out digitally to your therapist such as email or text? Maybe you could do voice or video calls with them. My husband does that with his therapist and it helps him a lot.

I know your family is not helpful. I hope you know there are so many of us that want you to have success and to live a happy healthy life. You are stronger than you think, fighting this battle every day. Your struggle is 100% valid and 100% real.

Keep communicating, if nothing else you will get better and better at explaining your struggle and it will help you advocate for yourself and your needs.

With care/Mish

4 Likes

Hi Summer
I am so sorry you are having to cope with all this, I know you have been holding on until tomorrow for your appointment, I am struggling to understand why your Mum would cancel but maybe there was an important reason for it? Is there a number you can call to enquire about an emergency appointment?? if not just reschedule for as soon as possible.
Summer, I have no experience of what you are going through and I cant even begin to imagine the awful time you are having but with the help of your therapist and some treatment it will begin to get better I promise you, you just have to hang in there, It is easy for me to say when its not me having the thoughts and the nightmares but you are a strong person and you can do this.
We are all here for you Summer.
Much love to you.
Lisa :heart:

3 Likes

I can’t do email or Voice calls

1 Like

Take a deep breath. I know that this world can be overwhelming at times, but you did something that other people don’t always do…and then was to reach out for help. I do agree with the previous posts before mine, find a professional that you trust and feel comfortable with. I have had more than my fair share of therapists and counselors.

You are worthy.
You are strong.
You are enough.

3 Likes

Understood. I know you are trying so hard. hoping you can get a reschedule appointment.

1 Like

I can’t, reschedule she ruined it for me

2 Likes