I’ve hurt every i cared about
or they’ve hurt me
i have two friends left my bf and my bestfriend
idk what to do i feel like im not enough for my bf cuz i over think things and make myself sad and it makes him sad
i have talked to him about things and he ensures me he couldn’t do better but we know thats a lie
i don’t have a good body
personality
sense of humor
im to sensitive
and broken
I self harmed after being clean for like 4 months i broke my promise with him and i feel like shit
i keep promising him im better and im happier and i am but part of me knows im never gonna be happy
i keep telling myself im gonna die one day cuz im not strong enough
and i think thats gonna be soon cuz im no good here so i think it’s over for me i see no future
i know they say to think about the positive and that things will get better or to pray or talk to some one but it never helps and it never gets better
I just wanna die every day im fighting a battle i can’t win and i quit
so i just thought i should let some one know that these might be my last days unless a miracle happens
EDIT 10/14/2020 : i just found out that the person i was in love with for two years cheated on me during the first year. He had also liked my best friend. I feel so stupid. especially since everyone knew but me. i’ve been broken up with him for about 8 months and am with some one new and ofc i do not have feelings for him but i just keep getting more and more hurt by him and the truth is he broke me.
hey there @Sandia ,
Thanks for reaching out i hear you and i see you . Thank you for sharing whats happening and what you are feeling.
let me tell you the truths.
YOU ARE ENOUGH
YOU DO HAVE A GOOD BODY
YOU DO HAVE A GOOD PERSONALITY
YOU DO HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR
YOU MAY BE SESITIVE BUT THAT IS OK .
YOU ARE NOT BROKEN , YOU ARE HUMAN
Do you have any coping mechanisms to help you stay clean for more then 4 months.
You Will be happy it takes time . You may not be strong enough rightnow but you need to keep fighting
Please keep fighting , i will keep fighting with you.
please reach out to a crisis resource line we care about you
HOLD FAST YOURE WORTH IT.
-Ashley
thank you for your reply it means alot to see some one cares even if it’s just a random person. i do not have any coping mechanisms i’ve watched videos on it i’ve tried it but nothing works
i just feel useless now
and unlovable
i’ve tried to so hard to be happy for so long and i can’t be
talking to close friends about something you like doing
screaming into a pillow (not sure if this would help)
write how your feeling then tear the piece of paper up
treat yourself to something , either clothing or icecream, or movies , etc.
You are not useless and you are not unlovable , you are loved!
You can still be happy. We love you !
-Ashley
i also found that i’ve been losing alot of weight and i don’t know what to do cuz i’ve been trying to gain weight since im already so small
just makes me feel worse about myself
I want to echo our friend @all_around_ashley here: today is not the day. You are so much stronger than you think. Just being free of self-harm during 4 months shows how strong you are - and relapses happen sometimes, but it doesn’t make you weak. You are not broken, Sandia. You are hurting, but you are also making steps towards the healing and peace you deserve. Disappearing won’t bring you there. Even though it looks appealing and reassuring, it’s not a solution for you.
Give yourself time, Sandia. I know you’ve been doing it already, but this is probably the most precious gift you could give to yourself. Today, tomorrow and many days after. Your life is not over. The way you feel right now isn’t going to be like this forever. There’s a whole another range of things to discover in this world and emotions to feel. Joy, fulfilment, pride, gratitude, empathy… love. Those things that you know are very real, deep down in your heart.
Please, be safe. Reach out to a crisis line or to someone you trust. Spend some time with someone today. Do things that you love. Reflect on what warms your heart in this life. You deserve all the love and care.
We care about you. We love you. And we have hope for you, even if you don’t have it for yourself right now.
Today’s my day. My day to think about your happiness. My day to love you unconditionally. My day to hope that you are smiling. My day to tell you just how much a stranger cares.
I want tomorrow to be my day, too. I want all my days to be the day that you feel my love and care. We are with you!
Of course, @Sandia. How are you feeling today? - No obligation to respond if you don’t want to. Know that we’re still here with you by your side. Take good care of yourself friend.
Im feeling better my body’s been in a lot of pain i don’t know why. Although i’ve been caught up in my self image im doing better.
I find my self making promise i can’t keep and making promises i shouldn’t be making
But it’s so often it’s just not healthy i know that but still
@Sandia I hear you. Honestly, just like you I cry a lot too these days. And when I say “these days”, it’s been actually for a couple of months now. Sometimes I feel more numb, but now it’s all about feeling a deep pain, especially at night. When the world is sleeping, when I can hear silence, I feel things more deeply - just like many of us. I face myself, I face my pain. Sometimes it’s a relief. Sometimes it’s so draining that it’s not. And it’s a bit scary. But in the end: it’s good to let it happen. Your tears have a reason to be. It might not be clear. It’s possible that you don’t know how to handle it right now, but it’s okay to feel sad, and it’s okay to cry. You won’t be stuck in those feelings forever. It might need some steps to work on it. Daily actions of self-care. Anticipating how to take care of yourself at night as well. Reaching out. Just babysteps to soothe your heart, at your own pace.
thank you for your response i definitly feel that it is draining and not clear. But im trying my hardest to reach out especially on here. I hope i don’t feel stuck here forever but for the past 3 years i have been stuck.
I just keep having downs and being depressed or having relapses and i hate it im tired of it
!
