Back to heartsupport

Im done with stupidity - i want to be done fighting

This title may explain it all. I’m just done with stupidity … im not calling people stupid but their negative actions are.
2019 towards the end , started the toxic behavior of it all . November i got out of a relationship due to being cheated on . december started with being called a piece of shit , to having a family member go behind my back and making decisions for me ( im 20 ) and i just had enough of the bull shit i was put through . On christmas day , i finally put my own foot down and told them im not doing that . Im tired of people going behind my back and putting me in a situation that i am just done with . Now today My OWN MOTHER was calling a living creature a piece of shit out of love ? how is that out of love? thats being cruel and harsh. I tried telling her dont call them that a thousand times they have feelings dont call them that . guess what her responce was ? it was " im doing it out of love they dont know what it means" she said that a thousand time to me when i tried calling her that then i called her a fat a** . Yeah i know two wrongs dont make a right. I am just done with stupidity and later on when i was trying to call an animal to come towards me shes like " dont go to her shes mean." like excuse me ? your the one who started this shit. if you were hurt by my actions you would go to me … oh then when i was done she once again either called me or the animal a piece of shit." i believe i tried correcting her again… then again shes like to me if you wake him up i will beat your ass red , and i respond with a similar comment and she makes the comment why are you taking this serious … i also flicked her off… IM just done . I’m done with peoples stupid actions … I really want to have a great year…
thanks for reading . !

1 Like

Hi, friend. I love you.

You seem to bonk heads a lot. Ive noticed there seems to be a pattern of upset over things that are super unnecessary.

You are absolutely right. Calling someone negative names, even in play or out of “love” isn’t always the best way to express. I remember one of my friends used to call me “bitch” and “ho” in play. It was seriously just playfulness and not meant to be mean, but after a while it just started to feel really awful and I had to ask them to not do it anymore. I got tired of the names. Its not really funny or cute. So they stopped.

I know with a parent it can be harder to ask them to stop. Parents suck sometimes. You try to express something reasonable and sensible, and they make you feel like you’re being ridiculous. It’s lame.

Its true, two wrongs don’t make a right, so maybe it’s a good time to also be aware of how YOU express yourself and in the future try to steer away from saying negative positives as well. Negative positive as in, something negative but meant in play. We may not mean harm by the things we say, but it’s good practice to try to avoid saying that type of stuff. Especially if we ask others not to.

A lot of the time when you vent to me and the real talk, what you say is valid and makes sense. Your feelings that you have are understandable. However, I think sometimes you accidentally choose perhaps the not so great ways to respond and react.

This is a hard challenge for everyone. Including myself. We are presented with a situation that makes us frustrated, angry or upset. In that moment we have a choice in how we respond. And honestly, how we respond makes a huge difference in how things go down, are handled and the impact it has on the relationship.

You often express that you are upset about how you are 20 and your family doesn’t treat you like an adult. But you also often say that you don’t want to deal with the responsibility that comes with it. My sweet friend, I think it might help if you write down what being 20 means to you. What kinds of things you’d like to see happen as a 20 year old. What things you’d like to see less of as a 20 year old. But also maybe write down the responsibilities that comes with being 20. Even if you hate it. Perhaps find ways that you can better react and respond to those things that are difficult for you.

I know communication has been a challenge for you. What are some things that you can do as a 20 year old adult, to help improve your communication. Especially with your parents who seem to be a constant struggle.

I can see in this situation you were feeling really annoyed and frustrated. Rightfully so. Maybe just taking time to yourself in your room or a private space would be better, than feeding the heat and flipping your mom off. It’s counter productive and kinda goes against exactly what you were just getting onto her about.

I know the struggles of trying to handle emotions. Growing up and very especially at your age, I was so terrible at keeping my feelings and emotions together. It was chaos. Id over react and over think and dig myself into bigger holes.

I try to make practice in asking myself if what Im about to say is going to help the situation or make it worse. I slip sometimes. I hate it when I do. But I try to own up to it by taking responsibility for my own behavior, the things I say and the things I do and apologizing.

Sounds like everyone in your house hold could use some awareness and put in some effort in how you communicate.

I love you very much. I hope that this year you are able to find strength and courage to reach your goals, to stand up for yourself in a peaceful and civil way, and to better your relationships both with friends and family.

I hope this doesn’t feel naggy. I truly am just trying to help you out.

2 Likes

thanks and i totally understand where your coming from

1 Like