I'm Exhausted and Nothing's Helping

[grandmastrqueen]

So clearly as stated, I am exhausted. I been trying to go to bed as earlier as possible or sleep in, but both are difficult because my sister is needy and always wants to be on the phone late and my children don’t allow me to sleep in. I already have had one in-home sleep study done, but it was in conclusive so now I have to do another one in the hospital. It’s not until June though.

I’ve become so tired that I know longer want to deal with anyone. I’ve been self isolating again and I am working against it, but the more I do the more I want to isolate. I’m always anxious for people to leave my home when visiting or to get off of the phone with people. I’ve started ignoring phone calls and the only person who knows all of this is my mother. She understands it, but also do not want me to isolate anymore because the last time that happened, I was drinking heavily.

I have no desire to drink though. I just want to be alone and relaxing, sleeping, and enjoying me time. I don’t have the luxury to take a personal vacation, however. I have no desire to work my full time job that I work from home or DoorDash even though I am in a temporary financial distress. I keep talking about napping, but I have the hardest time sleeping during daylight hours and if my children need me then I answer.

I’m currently cut off from all my lovely stress foods/soda/energy drinks because I am on the verge of being a diabetic. I feel like the closer I get to thirty the more health issues present themselves wrapped like unwanted birthday gifts. So I truly don’t know where to get my energy from and tired of dealing with people because I’m so exhausted and all of this has brought back the feeling of wanting to run away from my life.

[GreenEauanator]

Hey @grandmastrqueen,

I hear you.

I’m sorry you’re going through this stressful time. Life can sometimes feel like it has no end, from the second you wake, to the minute you fall asleep with no sign of letting up.

From what I can see, you are an incredibly strong person and I want to let you know how much of an awesome job you are doing.

I can empathize with not feeling like you can catch a break, I too was in a similar dark place and struggled severely to get myself out of that vicious cycle.

Here’s a few things that I started doing, in hopes that they may be useful to you, just incase it’s something you haven’t tried.

1: Try cutting out any caffeine you may be intaking, I’ve swtiched to decaff and so far, never looked back. (It helped more than I was letting on at the time)

2: I started having a 30secs-1min cold showers at the end of my regular hot one. (Even if you gradually turn the temperature down to get used to it, instead of blasting yourself with cold water)

3: I made room for 5 minutes, once a day, to merely sit and do nothing except practice deep breathing/meditation (whichever you’d prefer)

Although at the time they didn’t seem like they were helping, and even though it may not stop the tough times happen…

But, just by making these small incremental changes, at the very least it made me feel like I was accomplishing something, for myself.

I sincerely hope that they may do the same thing for you, and help you get on a positive track.

Sending all my love and thoughts to you.
Keep going, you got this and we’re here for you!

[grandmastrqueen]

I love your ideas except the caffeine one. Can’t do it. All I have left is coffee now that I don’t drink, cannot have sugary drinks like soda and Redbull, and definitely don’t have energy when I wake up.

[SheetMetalHead]

I hear you. I have struggled with sleep health my whole life. Most of the time it’s manageable, but there have been times I’ve called my doctor nearly in tears asking for a sleep solution after sleeping no more than a couple hours for over a week. As I’m writing this, I’m somewhere in between. I’m pacing my office, slogging water, stretching, standing at my desk, and still barely able to keep my eyes open. I’m so tired it physically hurts. It’s been like this for over a week. I can’t focus on my work, so here I am, talking to people indirectly to stimulate my mind. I hear you, I feel for you, and I hope you can rest soon so you can stop feeling what I know you’re feeling.

[grandmastrqueen]

I hope it gets better for the both of us friend. I have a sleep study at the hospital on June 4th. It’s not going to go well I already know. My home sleep study was inconclusive.