I'm failing to do the impossible

The best way to describe applying to any health care professional school whether it is medical, dental, PA or nursing is literally being in the Hunger Games. Throughout university you do everything you can to get the highest marks, the shadowing and patient contact experiences, volunteering, and sometimes research. I struggled and even graduated later than expected but I did it and I myself am currently in “The Hunger Games” I know I am trying to accomplish something that seems impossible but I went ahead anyways. The first few setbacks didn’t get to me because I thought I would still have a chance. Now as I get more letters of rejection and waitlists I realized I am failing to achieve my goal. I feel discouraged, hopeless, low, depressed and simply don’t want to try or care anymore. I gave up so much of my time and energy to try and make this goal a reality and I am failing miserably. I just want to say screw it because I am not able to achieve my goal. I hate feeling like this and all I wanted to in life was to be in medicine and I can’t even get one letter of acceptance. I know I can try again next cycle but that means waiting a whole year and while waiting I would have to continue to live and deal with things with my family especially my brother who has BP 2 tendencies. I wanted to get in this cycle so I can move forward and not have to deal with that. I feel like a failure and I don’t want to give up but it sucks that I am not making progress, everyone else has gotten in, I can’t talk to anyone about this and the one person I want to talk about it with I can’t. I am trying to cope and trying to pull myself out of this but it is impossible. I know if I had an acceptance letter I would not be this way but as I continue to wait on hearing from the last programs and realizing I am not getting in I am depressed and feeling like a failure.

Hi @mufcninja,

Thank you for sharing and being here. :heart:

First of all: congratulations for your graduation! You accomplished something important and I hope you’re proud of yourself, for the the energy and efforts you put in it. Indeed, studies can be discouraging, but what you did is awesome! For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you. :wink:

Also, what you’re doing now is not a waste of time. You are building your future. You’re doing everything you need to achieve your goals. But I understand your discouragement. It’s quite normal to feel that. Unfortunately, there are factors which are not dependent on you and, yes, clearly, the time spent before having a letter of acceptance can be discouraging.

However, the current situation doesn’t mean you’re a failure or that you don’t have the skills required. You have the capacities to go forward, you already proved it. But before reaching the next step, it may take longer than originally imagined. Your situation will stabilize.
It’s obviously not the same, but when I studied, I had to wait a year before my subscription was accepted because of stupid - administrative things. I really expected that everything would be okay, so I wasn’t prepared at all for this. So I tried to use the time I had to work a bit and explore new hobbies. In the end, things can get better. It’s also a matter of opportunities and I sincerely hope you won’t have to wait another cycle for this. Hold on to your personal goals. Sometimes you have to go through moments of discouragement to rise again.

In any case, don’t forget to take care of yourself. This must remain your top priority. :heart: Even if there’s your brother’s situation - and I don’t know precisely how you deal with it - you don’t have to stay alone or to let yourself drown by it. You also have a life outside studies and outside your brother. Maybe try thinking of a Plan B, new things to discover this year if you want to have a temporary activity and have to wait for the next cycle. I know this is a stressful situation, but don’t forget to surround yourself with the people you love and what makes you feel good.

Hold fast, friend. You’re doing great and it will be okay. :heart:


Thank you for responding. I get that it will take time I just want it to happen sooner than later. In the meanwhile I have been doing my favorite hobby of skateboarding, it has been there for me and acts as my antidepressant. I also have been working which helps and I have to tell myself that it is temporary and I will get in soon enough. If anything the time is allowing me to be social and do things I may not have gotten a chance to do because I had either exams or other engagements. I also have to remember to take care of myself, (sometimes I get engrossed in something and I forget about everything else.) I do see myself in medicine and I hope to make that goal a reality. Thank you for responding and it’s good to know I’m not the only one experiencing something similar.

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Hey @mufcninja,

Thanks for your reply!

I’m glad to know about skateboarding! Hobbies can be sooo helpful to go through uncertain times and focus on something we can enjoy. :heart:

This situation is indeed temporary. And I hope for you it will resolve from itself. You’re definitely not alone. :wink: Studies rarely happen in a calm and straight way, except maybe for some lucky people. In any case, it’s only about going through different paths.

Sending much love your way. :heart:

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Thank you appreciate it. Thank you again for replying hope that you have a great day.

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