I'm falling in love, and he keeps friend-zoning

He’s probably gonna read this, and I don’t want him too. I’ve never liked a guy before, and now I feel like I’m falling in love with him. I want to tell him, but he keeps friend-zoning me. This is so stupid. All I want is one person to care, and I have no one. I feel useless. I’ll never be good enough. No one will ever love me, I’m fat, ugly, and have no personality. If I can’t even get my own family to love me, how could anyone else? I’m just so useless, it physically hurts. I’m done with the world and its beauty standards. I’ll never be skinny enough, I’ll never have the perfect curves, I’ll never have the perfect “look”. If I can’t meet the standards, how can anyone love me? I feel so sick when I look at myself. What is wrong with me? I’m an ugly, fat, worthless, peice of crap.

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Hey Little,

First I want to say thank you for reaching out on the support wall, I’ve seen your post here in the past, and you’re courageous to continue to come back and receive love and support.

Boy oh boy do I have a lot to say on this topic, because you said he will probably see this I’m going to assume he’s someone in this community. Let me tell you friendo, long distant online relationships are freaking hard… I’ve tried a few times, and well sometimes it works, but it seems in this sense maybe you guys aren’t on the same page of what each other wants, and for that I’m sorry. But I know what it’s like to fall in love with someone, and those feelings not be mutual, so you’re not dumb or stupid for feeling that way because boy have I been there.

But let me tell you this, it’s so not worth losing a great friendship with someone, especially someone in this community. Unfortunately I was there, and I lost a friendship with someone and it’s been super freaking hard. I encourage you to try to move on from those feelings and just pursue a happy healthy friendship, and if things change in time then great, if they don’t that’s okay too. Once again this isn’t easy, and it will take time, but I believe in you.

And I’m going to go deep with you here, wanna know why because I remember having this conversation with someone else, and it gives some perspective. You say in your post “I’m fat, ugly, and have no personality. I’m an ugly, fat, worthless, piece of crap. I’ll never be skinny enough, never have the perfect curves, I’ll never have the perfect look.” I can tell you now, if this is your view of yourself NO MAN will ever be able to change the way you feel in that sense. He can tell you you’re beautiful, you’re perfect, but if you don’t see it in yourself it won’t matter. My friend you need to learn to love yourself before you try to be in a relationship especially one that is online and long distant.

^^ I pretty much copy and pasted that paragraph from a conversation I had with someone about my personal situation but changed the quoted words to exactly yours. I’ve been there friendo, love yourself, LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF! It’s okay to not be in a relationship, it’s okay to have close friends, it’s okay to have friends that you love, but you need to work on yourself before you can be in a healthy relationship!

Please remember that you are beautifully and wonderfully made, and you are loved and important. Please work on you, love yourself, and make good friends, and a relationship will come in due time if it’s meant to be. Even if you’re not in a relationship that doesn’t mean you’re alone, this community is your family, and is healthier than any relationship you could be in right now in your current state! Don’t give up, I love you friend and your life matters.

Hold Fast, You’re Worth It,

Hey friend,

I’ve been where you are too. I know how endless it can feel and I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I want to tell you that you will find someone that will love you for who you are, and I know it sounds cliche but I truly believe you will. You are so much more than the way you look on the outside (which I’m sure is perfectly beautiful) You are a person with deep emotions and hopes and dreams and you are WORTHY of love.

The beauty standards are photoshopped and filtered and are only attainable by 5% of the population. It’s not real, so please dont compare yourself to anyone.

You are so much more beautiful than you think you are.

Thinking of you. Hold fast.

Hey friend, thanks for sharing.

This is something I can say, we’ve all been there.
Wanting someone special is completely ok, but no one will ever change the way you feel about yourself. I’ve met many different girls in high school and even if there were moments when they felt appreciated and loved, insecurities were always there. Loving yourself is the first step for loving someone else - something I learned the hard way myself.

If he’s someone in this community - which I assume he is - that’s both great and meh. It’s great because hey, it’s always nice to see people meet online. However, long distance relationships rarely work.

Now, the (what I feel) the most important point: the friend zone. This is something we all hate and fear, but also something we can learn something about. Have you ever asked yourself: did I treat him like a friend, or like my lover? Most of the times we’re too deep in it that we forget it has to be a love relation before a friendly act. Start treating him like your lover, and see how things change.

Love you