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I'm feeling lucky this holiday season

I watched Kitbogas stream with Heart Support last night and I am feeling so humbled by it. It stayed on my mind all night last night and I woke up with it on my mind this morning. I’ve found myself here, reading and responding to a few posts to show some love and support for such wonderful and strong people.

I have some trauma in my childhood that has stuck with me to this point in my life and it has caused me to put up a wall, bottle things up and not allow myself to get close to my mother.
Last nights stream and listening to some stories really shifted my perspective. Though I may never fully “get over” those traumas, What I am over is allowing it to control parts of me that it shouldn’t.

I feel so lucky to have a “second chance” to build/ rebuild relationships in my life, a second chance that so many people pray for, beg for, stay up and cry at night wishing they had. Though I do not owe anything to anyone that caused me trauma, I feel like I do owe it to myself and my inner “child” that missed out on so much that she needed from her mother.

Tomorrow is a new day, and tomorrow is going to be the day that I finally lay down this guard I have up and give someone the opportunity to know me, and love me the way I’ve always wanted, always needed and deserve to be loved. I am so thankful I have this second chance with my mother and I’m not going to let it go to waste.

Thank you to everyone for sharing your stories and thank you for giving me the space to share a bit of mine. Because of your strength, I am optimistic that beautiful things are about to happen in my life.

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This is great to hear! I’ve seen alot of your replies, they have a great of compassion put into them. What you’re doing is really kind and i just want to thank you for that. :slight_smile:

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Thanks for taking the time to read and respond! That’s so kind of you to say. I’ve seen some of your replies as well and could say the same thing for you. Your kindness doesn’t go unnoticed :slight_smile:

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This is a very touching message that you’ve shared here @Hannah. As someone who also have known childhood trauma and is still in the midst of a tormented/chaotic relationship with my mom, reading where you’re at in your journey really brings some hope to my heart. I’m going through the motions of reparenting myself - which looks like it’s going to be a lifelong journey after all. But knowing that it is possible sometimes to have a second chance with a parent who traumatized us before, the possibility of something completely different and, this time, authentic, is really beautiful.

Thank you for sharing these parts of your story with us. I wish you all the goodness possible, a wonderful Christmas, and hopefully a beautiful new beginning with your mother. :hrtlegolove:

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@Micro I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve gone through something similar, it’s something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. While some people don’t change and do not deserve that second chance, I luckily find myself in a situation where reconciliation and forgiveness is possible without causing further trauma.

I really hope for the best outcome for your situation and I hope that you truly find peace. Healing can look different for each person. Sometimes amends can be made and healing can begin, and for others, sometimes healing is letting go of someone toxic and moving forward. Either way, nobody deserves the trauma that happens to them.
Take care and protect yourself, but never lose sight of that hope.

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