I'm freaking out rn | tw selfharm

so im always talking to guys at school cuz i get along with them better compared to girls and obviously my bf doesn’t like it and today he talked to a girl and i started getting jealous cuz I just wanna be the girl he hangs out with (we’re long-distance), and of course just like always I’m starting problems, I was being a hypocrite about it and idk I got a little testy and idk why and I pointed out that he was being a hypocrite too and that was a bad mistake and it started up the problem again and he wasn’t telling me if he was okay when i’d ask and I just really wanna cut myself and cat cuz I don’t want to cause more trips to the hospital, my parents do skin check on me and I just wanna hurt myself, or kill myself or something. my boyfriend deserves a better girlfriend, one whos happier and more understanding and just pain better than me. I just wanna kill myself. and I feel guilty saying that I wanna kill myself cuz it feels like I don’t even have a good enough reason to want to, but idk I just wanna kill myself so bad, or at least relapse.

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Long distance isn’t easy and definitely takes commitment on both sides. My wife and I were long distance for 2 years before getting married. I’d suggest making sure you have strong communication. It isn’t a fix all solution but it may help. Relationship issues can lead to depression for sure. I encourage you to work through those issues together but also remember that your mental health is important and shouldn’t let anything get in the way of that. I’m here to support as much as I’m able to. Hopefully that helps

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