In the same week my fiance and i broke apart, then the next day im losing my place because of a toxic roomate. This friday is my birthday and all i can think about is smoking weed and drinking til i can feel. Im suffering and i think about wanting to end it all but sadly its impossible to do so because im afraid of the unknown. And even if i am gone nobody would care and that is the sad truth.
No family, no friends, work isnt good, im losing my place because of a roomate issue who owns the house.
I dont have anything to look up to and ya know, i have held on for so long. And been through so much. Still i am tired of this life and i wish i was dealt better cards of life. Ive grown up poor and just a lot of things have taught me many things along the way to be honest.
welcome back, goldennuggs! I’m so sorry things have been heading down for you. It’s so devastating when we feel so alone and isolated in our burdens. I hope you know that your life has immeasurable worth. It may not feel like it and it may even feel that there’s evidence against that, but I assure you that you are so loved.
I’d love to encourage you to reach out and talk to somebody, because I can see that there is an appeal to self medicating to either feel numb or feel something other than the despair around you. It’s a dark path. One that I would hate for you to dive deeper into. You don’t deserve to have to travel that path. Hopefully I can link some crisis resources for you to look at. You’re not alone x
Here are some resources put together that I hope you take time to look through and feel encouraged by