Hey everyone, I’m really struggling right now.
For the past few months, I’ve been trying to get a new job that would allow me to move in with family. Currently, I live alone and family is at minimum an hour away in any direction. For anyone who doesn’t know, I collapsed in my apartment on Monday morning and was unconscious without anyone around to help. By the grace of God I woke up on my own and managed to get myself to the hospital. Basically, I have no reliable system of support around me and getting a different job would help me actually move in with a family member.
I interviewed for a job today and I felt like it went very well, I honestly tried thinking of an area I could’ve improved in and honestly could not think of a single one. If there was any time to bring my A-game, today was it. And I felt like I brought it.
I was informed this afternoon that I was not selected for the job.
I don’t believe it’s wise for someone with my medical condition to be without some sort of health coverage, so I’ve chosen to stay at my current job. I should be grateful that I even have a decent job, but instead I’m left with this sinking, stuck feeling. Like this is it, I’m now officially stuck here and I am going to be miserable until I finally die alone and nobody will think to look for me before it’s too late. I’ve prayed to God to give me the strength to trust in whatever his plan is for me, why does it feel like he is trying to separate me from those I love? If home is where the heart is, why can’t I go home?