So, i’ve had crush on this girl since the first i lay my eyes on her, it was around 2 years ago. And all this time i didn’t like the idea of liking her, i avoided the thought, or just dished it. But deep down i knew that i liked her.
Life being as it is, played me. Around 2 months ago forced me into a situation with her, where i had to face my feeling, and so i did, i admit to myself that i liked her and everything went straight to shit but that’s another story that i actually told already in this community so it should be in my profile.
Anyway, yesterday i vented out everything with a friend, she heard me, she gave me advice, but most important, i vented, i needed it, i let out so much that after finishing i felt literally weightless.
So i came up with that maybe if speaking with her gave me such relief, maybe if i do the same with my crush i will loose this burden that i am afraid it will come around eventually.
And so i as i write this i am chatting with her, trying to set up a meeting or if that’s not possible a phone call will do it. Problem is my mind is blank, i mean, i imagined speaking with her so many times and i vented so much yesterday and now i can’t figure out what to tell her?
I will basically tell her that i’ve always had a crush on her and that i don’t expect she feels the same about me, i know she is in a good relationship rn and i am simply no match but i don’t care about that.
What i care is that this thoughts, this feeling have been eating me from the inside, and due to the recent events i’ve had to face them, and now i come here to have a closure. I could add all the pain i went trough, all the shit and hell i had to face this past weeks but not to blame her but to vent. It’s so hard, i really don’t know what i am going to say to her and i already stepped in…
I know i am not giving details about the story but i am trying to give shape to my thoughts as i write more than sharing a story.