I'm growing resentful towards women and I don't know how to stop it, or even if I have to stop it

HeartSupport Support
,
1
  • 22m Software Dev, just started my job
  • Work From Home, minimal actual human interaction, I like it that way
  • Every single women I see on social media street interviews is very entitled, misandrist and arrogant
  • Media(movies, shows) is also not helping in showing good women as men are mostly shown as bumbling idiots and women demean them

Laws which favour women in my country. Also Quotas

Even though I logically know that not every women is misandrist, everyday the content I consume is turning me more and more and more into a very angry and annoyed person when Im arround women.

  • Always eat alone in nearby park, if stranger men come to talk to me i talk back, but just the sight of women i turn away and look for new seat. My real life interactions are being affected

I can list on and on the reasons, but im growing ever resentful. Have immoral thoughts of making a girl like me(im objectively good looking in my country and have had gotten propsals before) sleeping with her and then exposing her for having slept with me. Non virgin girl is basically kind of like life-ruined situation in my country. No future, no job , no marriage anything. I feel the need to do this as many times as possible as avengence.

How do I go back to when I was a kid again when life was much simpler

1 Like
2

To be honest with you a lot of women can be like the ones you see online because some women are just bitchy. But also a lot of men can be rude too, just like a lot of women can be nice and men can be nice too. People are people regardless of the gender. I’m sorry that you have had bad experiences with women before; negative experiences are often the ones we remember the most. But it is also important to keep in mind that the people creating anti-woman content usually purposely post rude women because they want to turn everyone against each other for attention, personal beliefs, social media revenue, etc. There are many super amazing women out there and I truly hope you are able to meet one that you connect with. I hope you are able to heal, wishing you the best. :smiling_face:

2 Likes
3

Hi @masking_bitterness !

Welcome to Heartsupport, I hope you get the type of support here that you are looking for.

As an adult married woman I find your views make me a little uncomfortable, but I believe that having written about these feelings you are feeling the urge to change and that is good! I am happy for you for recognising these negative and maybe even intrusive thoughts related to women or girls around your age. I want you to know that you’re certainly not alone or even strange to having these feelings, too many people are driven to extremes these days.

What @ventaccount said is true, there is a lot of content in the web these days that is specifically targeted towards making you hate group x, the more you watch it, the more it is given to you. So much of it is down to cookies and data certain sites have of you and despite it all, the world and the people in it are much better off than it seems.

If you want to get yourself a better perspective on women and you want to change the way you think about women as more respectful and kind you should do your best to tune out of this content. It won’t be helpful for you for your recovery, sometimes the most dramatic content can create an addiction of sorts and you need to just deal with is such as an addict would tune out of their addictive substance.

There are many content creators and “gurus” online, who are benefitting of your attention right now and many of them feed very destructive ideas forward without having any moral spine or integrity for what might happen to others as a result. Destroying any woman’s virtue won’t make you into a better man as such as you won’t be bringing more good into the world with it. Enacting in a destructive manner just makes you one of the destructive elements around you just as you see women’s misandrism as destructive. At the end of it you end up feeding to the state of the world that you hate with more misandrism around you.

I know you say you prefer to have minimal human interaction, but I don’t think it’s actually going to work for you, if you want to change from your destructive mindset as it will only feed into your hate towards people/women and make you feel more awkward around women leading you to be more resentful. Having a soft start to introducing more people into your life will lead you towards a more positive thinking as long as those around you aren’t resentful about women themselves.

I’m not sure what exactly has made you initially feel resentful about women, but I think you could talk to a good therapist about all of it and have a strategy in how to change your behaviour so you can find better inner peace with all people.

I highly recommend you to take time off from the media that you usually consume and talk to a therapist or a religious person of trust (if you have one) or a trusted family member to find some resolve to your feelings. I think it’s very good and very brave of you to find a place to talk about these emotions to someone and I encourage you to continue on to work on yourself. There are some great people online, who used to hate women and recovered as well as just content with a more positive perspective on life that you can tune to that’ll help you through this.

Think of your viewpoint as a pair of tinted glasses on your face. You have recognised that you have them on and that you need someone to help you get them off. You’ve taken an important step and now it’s time to get to work. Be the positive influence around you that’ll make the misandrists look foolish for seeing how good the men actually are.

Hope you have a pleasant day!

1 Like
4

Thank you, I’ve decided to compliment at least one woman everyday

5

I had forgotten about this post, but since then had decided to compliment at least 1 random woman everyday. The first couple of times i couldnt do it, i choked up and scurried away. The women probably thought I was weird. But later I could slowly start doing it and it makes me feel good to know that i made their days a bit happier. Some just walk away or make weird faces though, but thats okay.

I dont think the hate would ever go away but I have learned to control it.

1 Like
6

Hey and welcome back! It’s so nice to hear back from you.

I think that what you’re doing is great and I am happy to hear that you’re working on yourself. You’re talking about changing habits that you might have inherited from generations of bitterness around you, it is going to be hard.

But human brain is very flexible and whatever thoughts you now have can be changed even radically. Believe in your change and you’ll see it. Based on your age your brain isn’t even fully developed yet so you still have every right to believe in yourself and believe that you can turn your life around today.

If talking to women is hard for you, you don’t have to say even a word out loud, if you don’t want to to compliment them. You can even say these words to the women you see in your head, to yourself and change your brain to a more positive direction. Think of something good for the women you see like “I hope you’ll have an excellent day” or “hope your dream will come true for you” and you’ll radiate the kind of positivity you want to see around you.

Small positive actions such as just common courtesy to the women you come across can by itself be enough.

I am so proud of you and the progress you’ve made. You can do this!

Hope you have an amazing day!