I feel worthless, like I will never be good enough, like whatever I do I will just be an insignificant fool. But I feel like I don’t have a right to be sad. I feel like I am just super condescending for being sad and that makes me hate myself more. In my melancholy I have pushed friends and loved ones away, and I hate myself more for it. I have trouble carrying on through my daily life, and I no longer have fun or smile. I hate myself more when people are nice to me or notice my melancholy. Like I don’t deserve to be noticed that I deserve to be sad alone. I feel so worthless and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I don’t have the right to cry, to be sad. I am constantly aware of everything about me and pick at even my tiniest flaws, and that makes me hate myself more. I lack a sense of purpose. I need help, and to stop wallowing in self-pity
You can’t control your feeling, they are what makes us human. In our society we made to feel bad, for feeling bad. Such as people say that “ way are you feeling sorry for yourself” or “ you could be poor or dead”. It true thing could worse, but however that doesn’t spot the pain. It like saying you have broken arm, but then someone said, don’t feel bad cause you have two broken arms. Which is silly thing to say, cause you still have a broken arm.
You should not beat yourself up for your sadness. You have accepted you feeling sad and be okay with it. Without sadness you would not know what happiness is. In other word, it not worth hating yourself for it. There are way to treat like simply as, getting ice cream, going for walk or watching a Netflix show or TV. You are good person that just dealing with done demons.