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I'm in a strange place

I have always had abandonment issues since I can remember. In relationships it is a constant struggle for me, especially early on. When I discovered video games at a young age they quickly became my go to method of escape. (I’m still trying to figure out all my wounds, but I feel like the abandonment issue can’t be the only one.) The video games weren’t a problem until I got married. The unresolved issues I was running from led to divorce and I spiraled.
It has been two and a half years since the divorce and I’m now at least desiring a change for the better. I still have very little desire to do most things. My son is really the only part of my life that brings me joy. I feel stuck in apathy up to my axle. How do I get out of the mud?


Hey @utmost,

First of all, thank you so much for sharing this with our community, it sounds like you have a lot weighing on you. You’ve been through a lot, and you aren’t sure how to press forward now. But thats okay, we don’t need all of the answers, the most important part is that you WANT to change. That’s such a huge thing, it take a lot of courage to say that you want to make a change.

I would suggest that maybe you try and find a counselor or therapist. That has been incredibly helpful to me. If you need help finding someone, HeartSupport partners with Better Help, and you could always try that!

Hold Fast,
Hannah Presley


Hey @utmost, I am so sorry you are struggling so much right now. I definitely understand feeling stuck and having no motivation to move forward with life. It’s so hard sometimes to go day to day. I get it and I’m sorry you are going through that. I am glad you are here and that you have shared what’s going on. You are not alone my friend. Stay strong.

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@utmost Hold Fast brother. You’re loved. Hit me up on Discord if you want this art.


I’m also addicted to video games, man. I’ve been known to sit there for hours on end just playing anything, usually megaman, Pokemon, COD, or something like a fighting game/Binding of Isaac. My dad hates my addiction, and has broken consoles or handhelds when he found me using it to surf porn (I’m also addicted to porn, by the way), or just using it way too much. I’ve also have abandonment issues as well, so lots of what you are saying (Besides the divorce, I’m only 17), is very relatable to me. If you can find that light at the end of the tunnel, crawl like hell towards it, even do the worm if you have to (When you are arching your back up and down in a forward motion).
I hope this post helped you,

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